Quotes by Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson is one of the five main characters from the tv-series How I Met Your Mother and well-known for his legendary quotes. Barney Stinson is acted by Neil Patrick Harris, who was awarded several prizes for the role.

Quotes by Barney Stinson
Quotes 1 to 50 of 1981 of 42 of 43 of 44 of 4
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 24

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Love declerations
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 10

I've been dreaming of that since I was five. Well, that and my own operational Death Star.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 17

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Legendary
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 12

Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all - you.

Canada
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 12

Barney: 'Fine, we'll just have a nice, tasteful rehearsal dinner. Maybe at a French restaurant, I know just the place.'
Robin: 'What's the name of the restaurant?'
Barney: 'La Sertag.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 11

Barney: 'Your challenge is accepted Lil, there is no girl too pretty
For I am Barney Stinson, Player King of New York City.'
Ted: 'You can't anoint yourself the king, just like that jerk, LeBron.'
Barney: 'He left the Cavs three years ago. Bro, give it up, move on.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 8

When Mom was a groupie in the '70s, her scrambled eggs made her the darling of the MSG loading dock. Lot of songs written about those scrambled eggs:
ZZ Top's 'She's Got Legs'? Originally 'She's Got Eggs'.
Led Zeppelin? 'Scramble On'.
Steve Miller? 'The Yolker'.
If you listen to Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' while eating her eggs, it lines up perfectly.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season Season 9 Episode 7

Marshall: 'What the hell happened?'
Barney: 'I said no questions asked.'
Marshall: 'Star, clover, horseshoe... Barney, did you swallow real versions of all the Lucky Charms items?'
Barney: 'No questions asked! Now come on. Let's hit the bar. I'm buying. I just won 50 bucks from a little Irish guy on a dare.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 7

Lily: 'I'm not paying for room service the hooker ordered.'
Barney: 'I've been there.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 6

Your story is so sweet. You didn't even kiss 'til the third date. By our third date, I hit more bases than Bob Hope on a USO tour.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 6

Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday Night Drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl tonight, the only action you'll be getting all weekend is a self five and I don't mean the cool kind. Self-five! That's the cool kind.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 4

I'm also pleased to announce The Bro Code is now available in select airlines across the country. And Lufthansa. 'Der Bro Code' is, like, huge in Germany.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 4

This sacred text was eventually brought to the New World in 1776 by none other than Christopher Brolumbus. And that's why he got to bang Pocahontas.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 4

The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay... whatever's more than centuries.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 4

Ted: 'So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.'
Barney: 'Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self-five!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 3

Robin: 'I can't believe my great grandparents still do that.'
Barney: 'And I never imagined a walker being used for anything other than walking.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 9 Episode 1

Barney: 'Our wedding is gonna be legendary.'
Robin: 'No wait for it?'
Barney: 'I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore.'

Love declerations
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 21

Lily Aldrin: 'Guys, The Captain just made me a very interesting offer.'
Barney Stinson: 'Finally we get around to the real reason he hired you. Just promise you film it, and please use a tripod. There's nothing artistic about shaky-cam, it just looks sloppy.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 23

Look, if Michael Jordan's healthy, you don't let Scottie Pippen run the offense. Oh, you're from Canada, right. If Wayne Gretzky's healthy, you don't let François... what I'm saying is: hockey is stupid and I'm point guy!

Canada
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Book Quote by Barney Stinson from The Bro Code - Artikel 24

When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o’clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 18

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Love declerations
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 18

Barney: 'Ted what is my one rule?'
Ted: 'You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?'
Barney: 'My other one rule.'
Ted: 'Flax seed relieves upset stomach?'
Barney: 'My other one rule.'
Ted: 'Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?'
Barney: 'My other one rule.'
Ted: 'Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.'
Barney: 'My other one rule.'
Ted: 'New is always better?'
Barney: 'New is always better!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Every time I go after a busty dullard who can't tell time or thinks I'm the ghost of Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm shallow. But somehow it's okay for Robin to date a guy who can't be trusted around outlets.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 23

I only have one rule. For every three 10's you bang, throw a bone to a 5. They're grateful and hard working and let's face it, sometimes you just want to lay there.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 14

Ted: 'My mother is not one-night-stand material!'
Barney: 'Yeah, you're right. It wasn't night and we weren't standing.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 11

The last play you'll ever run.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 10

It's nice that they found each other. Sometimes you fall for someone you'd never expect, but that doesn't make it wrong. Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 22

Come on Ted, it's 2012. What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're reading a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 19

Are you aware, that breaking a broath can have deadly- even fatal repercussions?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 18

You know, it's funny. Almost every woman I've ever met was wrong to give me a chance. You're the first woman who's wrong not to.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 8

Neither one of us are gonna say, 'Hey, how's it going?' or 'Good to see you!'
Because it really will be good to see you.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 7

In this fall - this is tough. In this fall I'm going to take my talents to Mouth Beach.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 7

Sticky's even sent me a boob-shaped hand-sanitizer dispenser. It's clean and dirty at the same time.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Love, Love declerations
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Ted: 'Our point guard's a 52-year-old virgin, happy as a clam.'
Barney: 'I'm sure he's quite a ball handler.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16

Ted: 'It's the Drunk Train! You crossed out all the stops and wrote Vagina-Ville.'
Barney: 'That's not true. That one says Boner Gardens.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

You've been a hell of a wingman. And even though I think it's kind of gross when you pleasure yourself orally, don't ever think that means I'm not impressed.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

I've got a new bro, a bro that puts all other bros to shame. The bitches love him. He buries bones all day. No one chases tail like him. Why aren't you guys laughing? Oh, wait, I probably should have led with this: he's a dog! I've named him Brover.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Ted: 'Cleveland sports are still relevant! 'LeBron who?' Right, guys?'
Barney: 'Ted, neither you, nor Cleveland knows how to get over someone leaving them.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

I know this hurts little buddy, but you'll love again someday. Because time will heal a broken heart, but not that bitch's window.

Breakup & Lovesick
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Ted: 'Those Robin's boobies?'
Barney: 'When new nubile hotties lean in to inspect your bundle of joy, you can inspect their bundles of joy. The Broller. God, I come up with a lot of good stuff!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

The boobs on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down
The boobs on the bus go up and down, all through the town

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Bro, bro, bro your broat, gently to the bar
Hit on sluts, then do ten shots and...

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Bro McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-bro
And on that farm he had some chicks, E-I-E-I-bro
With a hot chick here and a dumb chick there...

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Ted: 'You know, as your best friend, if called upon, I'd be honored to raise Marvin.'
Robin: 'If you want him to be raised by his underwear on a flagpole, Ted's your guy. If you want him pulling the chord on some other nerd's panties, I'm your guy.'
Barney: 'I'll teach that kid how to be awesome in ways you and Lily never could. It's going to be legend- wait for it... no, I won't wait for it and neither should little baby Marvin, so maybe it's better if you two just die right now... -dary!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 3

The big bro in the sky had answered my prayers. Allmighty five!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 12

It's probably his... I've spent years, training my boys to swim the other way.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 12

Robin: 'I'm pregnant.'
Barney: 'Are you sure you're not just getting fat?'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 2

Miss Garvey's parents may stay at our place as long as they like. Provided they each arrive in an urn.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 2

Quinn: 'I have to pay $2,000 every time I gain a pound?'
Barney: 'Not every time. Just if it shows up at the weekly weigh-in.'

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Quotes 1 to 50 of 1981 of 42 of 43 of 44 of 4