Quotes from Desperate Housewives

Quotes from Desperate Housewives
Quote by Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives

Gabrielle Solis: 'I never bragged.'
Lynette Scavo: 'You once called your face 'proof of God's existence'.'

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season Season 8 Episode 7

There's no bad guys here, there's just people trying to figure things out.

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 8 Episode 1

Rich and single, I wonder what he looks like - you rarely get the trifecta.

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Quote by Tom Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 7 Episode 15

Lynette: 'You think doing laundry is throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and getting clean ones out of the drawer.'
Porter: 'That's how dad does it?!'
Tom: 'O-okay, let's stay on topic!'

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 7 Episode 9

Tom's packin'! We're talkin' big, circus big. So big, he can drive in the car pool lane when he's alone. If it falls in the forest, believe me - it makes a sound. The Washington monument looks at it and says, 'I want to be you when I grow up!'

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 7 Episode 1

Baby. Number. Five. An entire basketball team has come out of me, so I'm officially too exhausted to care!

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Quote by Carlos Solis from Desperate Housewives in Season 6 Episode 7

Gabrielle: 'She's Romanian! When your people are being chased into Argentina by angry cossacks, maybe a sparkling toilet isn't that important.'
Carlos: 'How about you stick to fractions, and I'll teach Juanita geography?'

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Quote by Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives in Season 6 Episode 4

If you lay one finger on Ana, Carlos will knock every tooth out of your mouth, which will make you pretty darn popular in prison!

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Quote by Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives

Sister Mary: 'Money can't buy happiness.'
Gabrielle: 'Well, sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep 'em from rioting.'

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Quote by Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives in Season 1 Episode 1

Do you know how bored I was today? I came this close to actually cleaning the house!

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 3 Episode 6

I want him to have what he wants - if it's what I want.

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 3 Episode 7

Tom: 'I never thought you'd want a fifth kid?'
Lynette: 'I don't, but I didn't want the first four and they're starting to grow on me!'

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Quote by Susan Mayer from Desperate Housewives in Season 1 Episode 8

Julie: 'No man has seen you naked in years. Except your doctor.'
Susan: 'And he retired. I try not to take that personally.'

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Quote by Andrew Van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives in Season 3 Episode 5

Andrew: 'Mom...?'
Bree: 'Please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking! Now what is it, dear?'
Andrew: 'Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide. There's no rush, she's not trying that hard...'

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Quote by Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives in Season 5 Episode 23

Bree: 'Well, the key is to not let them know what you're doing. This requires observation, cunning and manipulation.'
Gabrielle: 'Isn't it just easier to shut down your hoo-ha until he gives in?'

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 5 Episode 21

We've had sex 23 days straight. I've seen more ceiling than Michelangelo!

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Quote by Orson Hodge from Desperate Housewives in Season 5 Episode 10

Bree: 'The man's a doctor, for heaven sakes. You've done better than I did.'
Orson: 'That was a bit of a drive-by.'

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Quote by Tom Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 5 Episode 7

Mike: 'You're kidding. We're playing an actual gig?'
Tom: 'In front of people who aren't listening just because I pay their allowance? Well, this is fantastic!'

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Quote by Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives in Season 4 Episode 1

That pine shields my view of the Purcell's backyard, and if you had ever seen Mr. Purcell sunbathe, you'd know exactly what that tree means to me.

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Quote by Tom Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 3 Episode 16

Tom: 'Are you as tired as I am?'
Lynette: 'More. But I'm tougher, and I complain less.'
Tom: 'Not when you give birth - and you do that a lot.'

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Quote by Carlos Solis from Desperate Housewives in Season 3 Episode 12

Gabrielle: 'How about that? And here I was thinking some guy wants to murder me in my sleep.'
Carlos: 'The night's still young!'

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 2 Episode 19

Parker, I'm your mother. Mothers don't lie to their sons. Now go wash your hands or santa's not gonna bring you anything for christmas.

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Quote by Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives in Season 2 Episode 15

We will find someone - someone who doesn't remember what they were doing the day lincoln was shot.

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Quote by Mary Alice Young from Desperate Housewives in Season 1 Episode 19

Human beings are designed for many things, but loneliness isn't one of them.

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Quote by Mary Alice Young from Desperate Housewives in Season 1 Episode 1

We all havee momeents of deespeeration. If we can face them head-on, that's when we find out, how strong we really are.

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Quote by Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives in Season 1 Episode 1

It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.

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Quote by Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives in Season 2 Episode 16

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care.

Love, Hatred, Indifference
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Characters from Desperate Housewives