No wife of mine is gonna do dishes on Valentine's Day. You can do these tomorrow.
King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 16
1Carrie: "What are you doing?"
Doug: "Well, from your tone of voice... I'm guessing, not the right thing."
Doug: "Well, from your tone of voice... I'm guessing, not the right thing."
King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 13
3Spence: "A month is not that long not to have had sex."
Doug: "Yeah, but if you add in the other 31 years, I'd think you'd be a little antsy..."
Doug: "Yeah, but if you add in the other 31 years, I'd think you'd be a little antsy..."
King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 12
1You know, it has been 17 days since I've "enjoyed" you. And I assume it's been months since you've enjoyed me.
King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1
2Carrie: "I can't do this to him. I can't stick him in some crappy place where they're gonna just prop him up in a chair and pump him full of Jell-O. I mean, he's my father.
Doug: "Car, I know how you feel. But you gotta be realistic, there's no alternative."
Carrie: "Well, there is one alternative..."
Doug: "Euthanasia?! Do we dare?"
Doug: "Car, I know how you feel. But you gotta be realistic, there's no alternative."
Carrie: "Well, there is one alternative..."
Doug: "Euthanasia?! Do we dare?"
King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1
2You might like these Quotes aswell
I don't think they believed the last excuse you gave them. What was it, that you 'were stuck in a well'?
Carrie Heffernan in King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1
1Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
From there, I tried out for a community theatre play, joined an improv group... it all started opening up.
I've always had something in my heart where I root for guys who struggle with women.
I never played a musical instrument growing up but I knew kids who did and took it very seriously.
They're exhausting to inflate, they scare the shit out of you when they pop, and uninflated they just look like a pile of clown-condoms.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Boeing