Joey: 'Monica, relax. Go get a beer.'
Monica: 'I don't want a beer.'
Joey: 'Who said it was for you?'
Joey: 'Some girl ate Monica.'
Monica: 'Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds!'
Chandler: 'So how many cameras are actually on you?'
Phoebe: 'It's not mine, I didn't earn it. If i kept it, it would be like stealing.'
Rachel: 'Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping.'
Ross: 'Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.'
Joey: 'Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it.'
Ross: 'My new beeper.'
Joey: 'Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?'
Monica: 'Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help! They're still extinct!'
Ross: 'Rach, did you proofread these?'
Ross: 'Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your 'compuper' skills.'
Rachel: 'Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?'
Joey: 'No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.'
I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called 'Excuse Me'.0
Rachel: 'I will see you and I'll raise you. Do you wanna waste another buck?'
Ross: 'No, not this time. What did you have?'
Rachel: 'I'm not telling.'
Ross: 'Come on, show them.'
Rachel: 'Get your hands out of there!'
Chandler: 'I've had dates like this.'
Phoebe: 'Now we need the semen of a righteous man.'
Rachel: 'If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.'
Chandler: 'This piece of furniture was fine until your breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.'
Joey: 'You knew about that?'
Chandler: 'The impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.'
Chandler's Mom: 'Anything you want from Lisbon?'
Chandler: 'Just knowing you're there is enough.'
Joey: 'You broke the code.'
Ross: 'What code?'
Joey: 'You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-Iooking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!'
Phoebe: "I was the last to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in."
Phoebe: "Oh, looks like I was second to last."
Women can see breasts anytime they want. You just look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.0
'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.0
One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. Rocky road, and cookie dough, and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!0
Joey: 'Pheebs, wanna help?'
Phoebe: 'I wish I could, but I don't want to.'