Joey: 'I'm having new headshows taken tomorrow,right? And the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?'
Phoebe: 'Well, it depends.'
Phoebe: 'On how far along he is in the sex change process.'
Monica: 'Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.'
Ross: 'A 'no sex'-pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.'
Chandler: 'Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?'
Monica: 'Do you really want to pull at that thread?'
Chandler: 'Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break?'
Ross: 'What's the difference?'
Monica: 'Well, a spring vacation you're doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys.'
Ross: 'I could ask her to live with me. I mean, why not?'
Chandler: 'Because you've only known her for six weeks. I've got a carton of milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with.'
Ross: 'She's got to go back to London. But, you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together and then that's it.'
Joey: 'That's what all my relationships are like.'
Chandler: 'Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in two weeks that's it.'
Alice Knight: 'We were just at the drugstore, so we got you a little present.'
Frank Buffay: 'It's a lollipop and a home pregnancy test.'
Monica: 'Don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.'
Love lasts forever, you know? Nothing like it in this lifetime. Money in the bank.Love0
Joey: 'Can you close that window, Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here.'
Phoebe: 'Wait, really? 'Cause mine get me out of tickets.'
Joey: 'You're smoking again?'
Chandler: 'Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm smoking still.'
Joey: 'I had the same dream.'
Phoebe: 'Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.'
Joey: 'Oh, I had the opposite dream.'
Phoebe: 'For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.'
Chandler: 'I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in the area, God only meant to be treated nicely.'
Joey: 'It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship.'
Monica: 'It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.'
Nice try. You see, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.0
Joey: 'Monica, relax. Go get a beer.'
Monica: 'I don't want a beer.'
Joey: 'Who said it was for you?'
Joey: 'Some girl ate Monica.'
Monica: 'Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds!'
Chandler: 'So how many cameras are actually on you?'
Phoebe: 'It's not mine, I didn't earn it. If i kept it, it would be like stealing.'
Rachel: 'Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping.'
Ross: 'Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world.'
Joey: 'Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it.'
Ross: 'My new beeper.'
Joey: 'Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?'
Monica: 'Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help! They're still extinct!'
Ross: 'Rach, did you proofread these?'
Ross: 'Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your 'compuper' skills.'
Rachel: 'Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?'
Joey: 'No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.'
I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called 'Excuse Me'.0
Rachel: 'I will see you and I'll raise you. Do you wanna waste another buck?'
Ross: 'No, not this time. What did you have?'
Rachel: 'I'm not telling.'
Ross: 'Come on, show them.'
Rachel: 'Get your hands out of there!'
Chandler: 'I've had dates like this.'
Phoebe: 'Now we need the semen of a righteous man.'
Rachel: 'If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.'
Chandler: 'This piece of furniture was fine until your breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.'
Joey: 'You knew about that?'
Chandler: 'The impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.'
Chandler's Mom: 'Anything you want from Lisbon?'
Chandler: 'Just knowing you're there is enough.'
Joey: 'You broke the code.'
Ross: 'What code?'
Joey: 'You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-Iooking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!'
Phoebe: "I was the last to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in."
Phoebe: "Oh, looks like I was second to last."
Women can see breasts anytime they want. You just look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.0
'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.0
One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. Rocky road, and cookie dough, and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!0
Joey: 'Pheebs, wanna help?'
Phoebe: 'I wish I could, but I don't want to.'
Monica: 'This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.'
Chandler: 'Sounds like a date to me.'