Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 12)

How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)
Quotes 276 to 300 of 444191011121314151618
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 3

My arm hasn't been this sore, since I was 13 years old and figured out how to lock a bathroom.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 2

Marshall: 'The tiniest little burger joint you ever saw. Tucked between a taxidermist and a XXX bookstore.'
Barney: 'Name two places where things get stuffed.'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 2

Robin: 'I just finished a seven-day cleanse.'
Marshall: 'I thought you just started that yesterday.'
Robin: 'I finished early, okay?'

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 18

Stella: 'Ted, you're staring at my breasts.'
Ted: 'In fairness... they were staring at me.'

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Quote by Stella Zinman from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 18

Ted: 'We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door.'
Stella: 'Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 17

So Robin? Guess who nailed the chick from 'Metro News One' last night!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 16

Barney: 'Tell me more. Tell me more. Like did he have a car?'
Marshall: 'So is he the guy who... how shall I say this like a gentleman? Robin, did he take your maple leaf?'
Barney: 'Sounds to me like he gave you your first 'O Canada' face!'

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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 14

Ted: 'Do not pretend you're not the kind of guy, who keeps a list of all the girls he slept with.'
Marshall: 'I have one. It's called my marriage-license.'

Marriage
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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 11

This is New York City, don't get close to the neighbours. You nod at them politely in the hall, you call the cops if you haven't seen them in a while and you smell something funny and that's it!

New York City, Neighbors
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 8

Marshall: 'Jelly beans, fluffernutter, Gummi Bears, ginger snap... this is a grocery list!'
Robin: 'For who? A witch building a house in the forest?'
Marshall: 'Sugar helps me study.'
Barney: 'This is like the shopping a ten-year-old does when his parents leave him alone for the weekend.'
Lily: 'What parent leaves a ten-year-old alone for the weekend?'
Barney: 'And your mom was perfect.'

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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 8

Brother, you're driving the 'I-wanna-have-sex-with-her-truck' and its got a huge blind spot.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 7

I appreciate your help, but there's a reason your name is 'Robin', not 'Batman'.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 7

Barney: 'I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake.'
Ted: 'You're talking about her boobs, right?'
Barney: 'Si. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up?!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 1

Barney: 'Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live. Barney... we met at the urinal.
Lesson 1: Loose the goatee it doesn't go with your suit!'
Ted: 'I'm not wearing a suit.'
Barney: 'Lesson 2: Get a suit, suits are cool. Exhibit A.
Lesson 3: 'Don't even think about getting married until your 30.'

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 4

Marshall: 'Neither of you guys has any game, right? Or else you'd be married. Like me. If dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game.'
Ted: 'Yeah, if you're playing in the women's league!'

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 4

Barney: 'You can't spell 'game' without 'me' and 'me' has the best game.'
Ted: 'Yeah well, I got so much game,
I'm Cornish game hen.'
Barney: 'Oh, yeah? I'm the New York State
gaming commissioner.'
Ted: 'Well, I'm The Game. Well-crafted, keep-you-guessing thriller starring
Michael Douglas and Sean Penn.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 1

Where some choose to look at this bra half-empty, I choose to look at this bra half-full.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 22

Do not tell me you're gonna start searching for 'the one' again. The only time I wanna hear you saying 'the one', is if it's followed by the word 'hundred'.

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 22

Ted: 'Okay, time to get the horn back to the bistro.'
Robin: 'Oh Ted, I don't know if I can go again, that tuckered me out.'
Ted: 'No euphemism.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 21

You wanna know what line doesn't work on a harp player? 'Hey baby, wanna pluck?'

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 2

Kids, you can't talk yourself into falling in love. It doesn't take days of deliberation. When it's real, you know pretty quickly and with absolute certainty.
I had forgotten that, but I was about to be reminded...

Love, Falling in love
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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 2

I don't wanna be choosing between two girls, I wanna be a complete head over heels idiot for one!

Love
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 2

I guess, if we're splitting hairs, then technically... there was a plurality to the times I've lied to women for sex-having-purposes.

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 1

Ted: 'All my friends from high-school, they're here with their wifes or kids. My date for the night is a sticky magazine...'
Robin: 'Sounds like high-school all over again!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 1

Get ready, Cleveland. The last man to screw you that hard and then disappear, was LeBron James!

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Characters from How I Met Your Mother