Lily: 'Whenever we board a flight, you lick the plane!'
Marshall: 'Have we crashed even once?'
Robin: 'Who wants hot-wings?'
Lily: 'I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on Barney, since he's a total chicken.'
The only person on earth, who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!0
Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!0
Ted, your throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you with her shiny hair and her boob-shaped boobs!0
Marshall: 'The broken windows?'
Lily: 'We had to make it look realistic.'
Marshall: 'But why did you break two of them?'
Robin: 'It looked like fun when she did it, so I wanted to try.'
Marshall: 'I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy.'
Your car's gonna be fine, this is the best auto-shop around. Look at this certificate, one of the mechanics here...
[reads the certificate]
...finished a 64 ounce steak.
Ted: 'I thought you said you got rid of everything your ex-boyfriends gave you?'
Robin: 'Well yeah, but not my dogs.'
Ted: 'You said everything.'
Robin: 'But not living things.'
Ted: 'Tell that to the rare bolivian cactus i threw away!'
I'll help you study. We're gonna stay up all night long. I'm gonna drill you and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna do some cramming and then we're gonna study. No, seriously. We're gonna bone up on...0
Lily: 'We'll all have a wedding dress camp-out. It'll be fun!'
Barney: 'I can't go. I've got this thing.'
Lily: 'What thing?'
Barney: 'A penis!'
Because sometimes, even when you know how something's gonna end, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.0
I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it: Buck-naked. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?0
Ted: 'Robin! I just had a great idea!'
Robin: 'Oh, do whatever you want to me, just don't wake me up.'
Freeways have exits, so do relationships. The first exit, my personal favourite, is six hours in: You meet, you talk, you have sex, you exit when she's in the shower.0
Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.Sex0
Lily: 'That's Dirty Dancing!'
Ted: 'It was on last night.'
Marshall: 'No, it was two nights ago. 'She's Like the Wind' has been stuck in my brain for about 40 hours. I just got it out; now it's back in. Damn you, Swayze!'
Robin: 'You mean the whiny, bottomless pit of neediness? He was bugging me so I spiked his echinacea tea with codeine.'
Ted: 'You would be a great mom.'
Ted: 'Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch!'
[The lights turn out]
Lily: 'Happy? Now you pissed up the big guy upstairs!'
Ted: 'Yeah, I'm sure god cares if I...'
Man: 'You use that language again and I turn off your water!'
Lily: 'It's my super - he lives above me.'
Ted: '[to Marshall, lying next to him] Marshall, are you still thinking about Lily?'
Ted: 'Please stop!'
Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, Ted. You know it to be true!0
Okay, I've missed you. Not in a 'we're gonna make out' way, not even in an 'I forgive you' way. Just in an 'I've missed you' way.Missing Someone0
There's kids playing hockey in the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you!0
If one of the Vancouver Canucks walked in here, my panties would drop so hard, there would be a hole in the floor halfway to China.0
Robin: 'What? I am not keeping Mike on a hook!'
Ted: 'You are Captain Hook!'
Robin: 'Dude, I'm a girl, ok? Our girl parts are like a spider webs; sometimes you are gonna catch stuff you don't want.'