Ted: 'Do you have a cold?'
Barney: 'I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.'
Talking to a woman that you have already had sex with, is like changing the oil on a rental car!Sex0
Lily: 'It's nine weeks 'til the wedding, at this point, I'd say yes to just about anything.'
Lily: 'No, Barney.'
Lily: 'Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.'
Barney: 'Yeah. Lily, you know I can't promise that'
Lily: 'I can't believe I unloaded like that on a high-school senior.'
Robin: 'I can't believe a high-scool senior unloaded like that on me.'
Barney: 'This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.'
Ted: 'Sleep with a prostitute?!'
Barney: 'No, lose your virginity!... What up?'
Think about it, this is perfect.
a) It'll make Robin insanly jealous
b) You get to have sex with her
c) Maybe by getting to know Mary, you'll come to see that cortisens are people too
and d) B! All night long!
Barney: 'Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better. Triple-threat: hotter and bigger boobs.'
Ted: 'That's only two?'
Barney: 'Count again!'
The beauty of a moment, is that it's fleeting.Moment, Present0
I don't feel so good. It's like my testicals mixed poprocks and soda.Sex0
When you meet someone special, suddenly life is full of firsts: The first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together.0
Sorry buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh no wait, that was last night!0
Ted: 'You're not gonna do it at your wedding?'
Lily: 'Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower-grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, 'Crawl for it, bitches!''
A drum roll?! That's it? So what, you just said good night, came home and... performed a drum solo?0
Barney: 'Wow, Ted. You're gonna have to find a new member for yourself, cause I'm revoking your dude-membership.'
Ted: 'Yeah, how was that manicure yesterday?'
Barney: 'Invigorating... thanks.'
Marshall: 'Yes, i want a ball-room and I want a band and I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day since I was... like...
Lily: '...a little girl?'
Very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose... to turn my front on her. What up!0
Yes Barney, your submissions were recieved and no, we will not be attending any parties in your pants.0
Marshall: 'If economic sanctions and trade-restrictions aren't enforced, the destruction of the rainforest will continue and over a million species will be wiped out!'
Ted: 'So you don't want coffee?'
It's the greatest samurai, who lets his sword rust in its scabbard.Peace, Gun-Control, Intelligence, Swords0
Ted: 'What could she possibly have to say me, that she couldn't write in an email?'
Robin: 'I've cut out all my fingers?'
Ted, you know who's a million times hotter than the hottest girl I've ever slept with? Her okay-looking friend I haven't seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.0
I thought you where vomit-free since nintythree... so that was a lie?0
Sorry Peter, we're grown-ups now, we can't fly to Netherland with you anymore.0