Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 16)

How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)
Quotes 376 to 400 of 444112131415161718
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 12

The World is going to come to an end tonight. Yes think about it. End of the World, Nostradamus, Notre Dame, Fighting Irish, Irish, St. Patrick's Day. This is it Bro. Bro-calypse Now... Bro-Mageddon.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 12

There's three rules of cheating:
1st: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married.
2nd: It's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels.
3rd: And it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 10

That was the night I was born. I rose like a phoenix from her mentholated bosom and strode into the world, Armani-clad and fully awesome.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 10

Barney: 'He's the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever!'
Lily: 'He's exactly like Barney.'
Barney: 'That's what I just said.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 10

Oh man, I am so excited that you're here! It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun!
[to Lily, Robin, Ted and Marshall] Huh... yes, offense!

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 1

Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 20

I didn't give up on my dream house, because that's the thing about stupid decisions - we all make them, but time is funny and sometimes a little magical. It can take a stupid decision, and turn it into something else entirely.

Decisions, Time
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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16

Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.

College, Long-Distance Relationships
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16

Don't knock long-distance relationships, I really think they can work. I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, there's Erica in Tokyo, there's Laura in Denmark. And Kelly on 34th street. The last thinks I'm a humble sheep-shearer from Kelani.

Long-Distance Relationships
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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 11

Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs... It's like we're the president.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 15

How to run a marathon: Step one, you start running. There is no step two.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother

There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 18

Ladys and Gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's top 10 list. The category: Top 10 things i would have called my truck...
Number 10 - 'The Winne-Bango'.
Number 9 - 'The Pick-Up Truck'.
Number 8 - 'The Ford Explore Her'.
Number 7 - 'The You Scream Truck'. You Scream.
Number 6 - 'Feels on Wheels!'. Hello!
Number 5 - 'The Ride Her Truck'.
Number 4 - 'The 18-Squeeler'.
Number 3 - 'The Esca-Laid'. Ih-ih-ih!
Number 2 - 'The Slam-Boney'.
Aaand the number 1 thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...
'The '69 Chevy'!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 6

Every Halloween I bring a spare costume. In case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 3

Airport bar! Flight attendants, they'll get your tray table in it's full upright position. Say what?

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 17

I mean she just walked out. At least when I walk out on a girl I have the common courtesy to sleep with her first. It's called manners!

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 11

The Captain: 'Guess it's just you, me, and six hours in frigid international waters.'
Ted: 'Or we could stay in dry land, hang out with some witnesses?'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 23

Barney: 'Her butt?'
Marshall: 'What is it, too much?'
Lily: 'Too low?'
Robin: 'Or ist it an issue of access?'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 20

Woman: 'How can you not remember my name? it rhymes with your name?'
Barney: 'And I said my name was...?'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 15

Ted: 'That beer looks a little flat.'
Robin: 'Yeah.. it's scotch.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 19

Here's the thing about me and tools: The only one I know how to use, is attached to me. And I'm not gonna try putting it in a TV... again.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 3

Anything sounds weird, if you say it a undred times. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl...

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 18

I am not 'with' Nora. Wrong Preposition! Later tonight I'm hoping to be 'on' Nora, right? Or 'under' Nora. Am I right? Or, we're all adults, so I'll just say it: 'behind' Nora.

Sex
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17

If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.

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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 17

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

Sex
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Characters from How I Met Your Mother