Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 18)

How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother

Never buy a girl flowers, 'cause giving her a living thing reminds her of babies.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 7

God. It's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 14

Barney: 'Check it out, I made a little game.'
Lottery Girl: 'And tonight's lotto numbers are: 19...'
Barney: '...age you moved to New York after a photographer 'discovered' you at a food court and said he would get you into Vogue Magazine.'
Lotto Girl: '53...'
Barney: '...number of semi-nude pictures he took of you before you realized he had no connection to Vogue Magazine.'
Lotto Girl: '22...'
Barney: '...age you claim you are.'
Lotto Girl: '31...'
Barney: '...age you actually are.'
Lotto Girl: '45...'
Barney: '...number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, out of your dress and into my Jacuzzi.'
Lotto Girl: 'And tonight's Super Big Ball is...'
Barney: '...what happens after we get out of the Jacuzzi. What Up?!'

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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 15

Barney, check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 15

Ted: 'Where does this girl live?'
Robin: 'We're talking about a woman who's gotten Barney to commit. I'm guessing Narnia.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9

He has got to go. You need to be like:
You are the weakest link goodbye!
Punchy, the tribe has spoken.
Please pack up your knives and go.
Your work of art, didn't work for me.
You're times up.
I have to ask you to leave the mansion.
You must leave the chateau.
Your tour ends here.
You've been chopped!
You've been evicted from the Big Brother house.
Your desert just didn't measure up.
Sashay away!
Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen!
You did not get a rose.
You have been eliminated from the race.
You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model.
You're fired.
Auf Wiedersehen.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother

Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.

Failures, Fate / Destiny
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 23

Give it a week, you'll get her back. And her front.
Oh! Did you feel that? I think we just had a 'what up?'-quake!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 19

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.

Lies
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 11

Barney: 'I only smoke in certain situations. Postcoital, when I'm with Germans, sometimes those two overlap, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, precoital, on a sailboat, the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year and pregnancy scares.'
Ted: 'Why are you smoking right now?'
Barney: 'I'm always precoital, Ted.'

Smoking
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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16

Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.

Sex
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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother

Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 20

Nerds who aren't good at math?
Life is going to be rough boys!

Mathematics, Nerds
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 19

Ted: 'She was 15?!'
Barney: 'No. A 15. Like in blackjack.'
Ted: 'As in.. not sure whether you'd hit it?'
Barney: 'Exactly!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 14

Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years and 11 months old.

Sex
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 1

Female acrobats from Montreal, super flexible...
We┬┤re gonna get Cirque du so-laid!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 5

Think of me as Yoda - only, instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro. I'm Broda.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother

It's going to be legen...
wait for it - and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is
...da(i)ry!

Legendary
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

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Characters from How I Met Your Mother