Robin: 'We're like sisters.'
Ted: 'You've never gotten through even one exchange without screaming at her.'
Robin: 'Sisters fight, Ted!'
It's nice that they found each other. Sometimes you fall for someone you'd never expect, but that doesn't make it wrong. Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?0
Robin: 'He has a book of plays he uses to trick women into sleeping with him.'
Patrice: 'Oh, no way. Barney's my honey bear.'
Robin: 'Actually, one of his plays is called 'The Honey Bear'. He dresses up like Winnie the Pooh, and the next thing you know, his hand's stuck in your pot.'
Marshall: 'Can we borrow your air mattress? My mom's coming into town for a few days.'
Ted: 'Absolutely not!'
Lily: 'Bummer, I guess she can't stay with us. Hey, look what I just found! A list of hotels and other creative housing options.'
Marshall: 'Baby, my mom is not staying at a hotel. Or our storage unit.'
Come on Ted, it's 2012. What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent when you're reading a newspaper at a bookstore? None of those things exist anymore!0
Marshall: 'It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt.'
Ted: 'Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids.'
Marshall: 'Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!'
I poured my blood, sweat and tears into that building. Though, to be fair, a lot of that happened the day I accidentally fell down the elevator shaft.0
Do it. If you ever want to see these boobs again, crawl, you son of a me.0
Ted: 'How was your day?'
Lily: 'Good, although I think I just saw a woman with a full-beard outside.'
Marshall: 'I think I just saw a guy with breasts outside.'
Barney: 'I am so sorry, Cornelius. You deserve a better end than this.'
Lily: 'You got ketchup on a red tie, you can't even see it!'
Are you aware, that breaking a broath can have deadly- even fatal repercussions?0
Marshall: 'I was once with this chick, who liked to do hand stuff underneath a jacket, while we were all sitting around our favorite booth at MacLaren's.'
Robin: 'We share appetizers!'
Marshall: 'Lily, you snooped through her stuff?'
Lily: 'No, it's like the first thing you see when you jimmy open her desk-drawer with the letter opener her grandfather left her, according to her diary.'
Marshall: 'Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.'
Lily: 'Sweet-talk is not gonna change my mind!'
By 'entertainment' they mean 'table-shuffle-board', Makramee classes and other non-stimulating activities which are only used in Manhatten to calm down drug-addicts and the criminaly insane.0
You know, it's funny. Almost every woman I've ever met was wrong to give me a chance. You're the first woman who's wrong not to.0
Neither one of us are gonna say, 'Hey, how's it going?' or 'Good to see you!'
Because it really will be good to see you.
The biggest case of my life and I'd already lost the jury. I mean, I've heard of 'Twelve Angry Men', but this was more like 'Twelve Horny Women'.0
Ted: 'Want to know what I looked like at age 15? There it is.'
Robin: 'I don't get it, that guy wasn't masturbating.'
Barney: 'Yeah, and the waistband of his undies wasn't pulled up to his Cub Scouts neckerchief.'
When you do one good deed, it creates a ripple effect. One good deed leads to another and another.Selflessness0
Kids, Robin and Barney had recently shared an awkward moment. After that, they did what any two mature adults would do: They pretended it never happened.0
In this fall - this is tough. In this fall I'm going to take my talents to Mouth Beach.0
Marshall, you being 18 isn't a bad thing. It just means you get to spend even more of your life with her.0
What do you call a fish with no eyes?