Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 4)

How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)
Quotes 76 to 100 of 44412345678918
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 7

Sticky's even sent me a boob-shaped hand-sanitizer dispenser. It's clean and dirty at the same time.

1
0
Quote by Nick from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Nick: 'So, I went to this fortune teller today and she said there was a curse on me.'
Robin: 'Did she sell you something to ward off the curse?'
Nick: 'It's like you're a fortune teller, too.'

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Love, Love declerations
8
0
Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Barney: 'Before you know it, you'll be marrying a man who once ate a vanilla-scented candle!'
Robin: 'That was on me. I shouldn't have left it in the kitchen. Though, it was lit. Man, he dumb.'

0
0
Quote by Nick from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Robin: 'I don't know if we should keep seeing each other.'
Nick: 'You want to start turning off the lights during sex?'
Robin: 'No. God, no. No! I am just worried that, as a couple, we're not working out.'
Nick: 'You want to start going to the gym together?'

0
0
Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Ted: 'Basketball, people don't realize, is all geometry, physics and engineering. If you think like an architect, you could win a thousand games without ever touching a ball.'
Barney: 'What happened to your ball?'
Ted: 'Some kids from the Hebrew school next door took it and wouldn't give it back.'

0
0
Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Eventually, Nick's groin will heal and you'll be back in Sexville, where all the crossword puzzles only have one box to fill.

1
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 6

Ted: 'Our point guard's a 52-year-old virgin, happy as a clam.'
Barney: 'I'm sure he's quite a ball handler.'

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16

Ted: 'It's the Drunk Train! You crossed out all the stops and wrote Vagina-Ville.'
Barney: 'That's not true. That one says Boner Gardens.'

1
0
Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16

Robin: 'Can you guys keep a secret?'
Lily: 'Yeah.'
Marshall: 'Well, some of us can...'

1
0
Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 16

As fun as this place is, it's late. So, what's our play? And don't say, 'The Siamese Twins', we're not stretching out another one of my jackets!

0
0
Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

It's not what you think, he just wants to have sex. Kidding. Just a little hand stuff. Ha, kidding again. Ted's more of a boob man. I seriously can't stop.

0
0
Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

Barney: 'I love how she was this wise, old, chilled out, lesbian farmer.'
Robin: 'No, no, no. She's not a lesbian, nor does she farm them. No, that woman she lives with, that's just her special friend Maureen. They've lived together for... Oh!'

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

You've been a hell of a wingman. And even though I think it's kind of gross when you pleasure yourself orally, don't ever think that means I'm not impressed.

1
0
Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

Ted: 'As a kid, I was known as a bit of a detective. In fact, when my friend's retainer went missing, the Mosby Boys were put on the case, and it was...'
Victoria: 'The retainer was in the garbage. The Mosby Boys were you, your sister, and a neighborhood squirrel you thought you had tamed.'
Ted: 'I can't believe Squirrel-lock Holmes turned on us like that, eight weeks of training down the drain.'

0
0
Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

Ted: 'So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?'
Lily: 'Oh, grow up, Ted, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!'

Relationships
1
0
Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

We're cosigning birthday cards, we got toothbrushes at each other's places, foreplay's out the window. I'm in, I'm out, I'm sleeping - it's great.

0
0
Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

Ted: 'Why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants?'
Marshall: 'Men. It's like, if there weren't pickle jars to open and spiders to kill and computers to back up, what would be their point?'
Lily: 'Mmh-hmm!'
Ted: 'Okay, when did Marshall become a slightly more feminine you?'

1
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 5

I've got a new bro, a bro that puts all other bros to shame. The bitches love him. He buries bones all day. No one chases tail like him. Why aren't you guys laughing? Oh, wait, I probably should have led with this: he's a dog! I've named him Brover.

1
0
Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 14

Judging from how many clients that hooker has serviced, I'd say we've been here almost an hour.

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Ted: 'Cleveland sports are still relevant! 'LeBron who?' Right, guys?'
Barney: 'Ted, neither you, nor Cleveland knows how to get over someone leaving them.'

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

I know this hurts little buddy, but you'll love again someday. Because time will heal a broken heart, but not that bitch's window.

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Ted: 'Those Robin's boobies?'
Barney: 'When new nubile hotties lean in to inspect your bundle of joy, you can inspect their bundles of joy. The Broller. God, I come up with a lot of good stuff!'

0
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

The boobs on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down
The boobs on the bus go up and down, all through the town

1
0
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 8 Episode 4

Bro, bro, bro your broat, gently to the bar
Hit on sluts, then do ten shots and...

0
0
Quotes 76 to 100 of 44412345678918

Characters from How I Met Your Mother