Robin: 'Sometimes in life you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself.'
Ted: 'You called her a whore!'
Robin: 'Who wears that much make up?'
Ted: 'Old ladies!'
Robin: 'Who take money for sex, exactly!'
Would the five of us always live within a few minutes of that booth? No, that's life, kids, but here's what I discovered: Our booth was wherever the five of us were together.Friendship0
Lily, I think we made a mistake moving out to the suburbs. I miss our home. I miss our booth with our friends. And I'm pretty sure I have a drumstick... somewhere bad.0
Marshall: 'The last time I lived this far from him, was my semester abroad.'
Lily: 'You never did a semester abroad?'
Marshall: 'That's what I called it, when we lived on opposite sides of the campus.'
Yes! Tonight is gonna be Legen... wait, are we sure it's a good idea to go to a strip club? Shut up, Lily! I'm in charge now... Dary!0
Ted: 'Barney! I'm allowed to miss them, okay? They're my two best friends.'
Barney: 'I'm your two best friends!'
Hey look, it's the New York City skyline.
We built Chip City... we built Chip City on all your dough!
Sandy Rivers: 'I don't know what went wrong.'
Robin: 'Well, proposing a three way was bad. Starting without us was worse. Finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.'
So you're pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.0
Robin: 'I wouldn't go to Cleveland for 125 million dollars, paid over six years.'
Ted: 'Still with the LeBron jokes? Where's that ring he's supposed to have by now?'
If we're together long enough I hope that one day you see yourself like I do.Love, Relationships0
Robin: 'I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?'
Barney: 'I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.'
Think of the pickup plays we can run as a father-son duo. There's the 'Father Knows Breast', there's the 'Bush Dynasty', the 'Lick Father, Lick Son'.0
You could help a friend, but instead you're choosing the hot girl in the tight tank-top. Your training is complete, I'm so proud of this kid!0
Lily, you just gave those children a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors and a pretty decent Pinot Noir.0
Ted: 'First it was too much eye-contact, then not enough - where do you look during sex?'
Barney: 'Into the hidden camera at future me, watching it.'
Hey kid, you know how your mom won't let you have icecream 'til after dinner, but then the waiting kind of makes it taste better? Well, I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream - and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.0
The Pork Authority is closed. Looks like it's Hand Central Station for you little buddy.0
We just don't wanna rush anything, okay? We decided to wait, until she decides to let me have sex with her.0
Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?0
Doctor: 'Don't worry, it's totally safe. Unless part of your big date involves connecting yourself to a car battery.'
Barney: 'Well, now it doesn't.'
He let me have her. I have to say, it was pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword so that she could fall on mine.0
Too many crazies had my old number, so now I'm all about disposable cell phones. I'll use one for a while, have my fun, then dump it and get a new one. And then I'll do the same with my phone.0
Zoey: 'Don't worry Ted, she's cute.'
Barney: ''Cute' means 'fat'!'
Zoey: 'She's not fat.'
Barney: ''Not fat' means 'ugly'.'