Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series) (Page 9)

How I Met Your Mother is a US tv-series. The quotes from the main characters Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson, Robin Scherbatsky, Lily Aldrin and Marshall Eriksen make the series legendary.

Right now, the ninth season of How I Met Your Mother is running on CBS.

Quotes from How I Met Your Mother (TV-series)
Quotes 201 to 225 of 444167891011121318
Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 13

Ted: 'I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.'
Robin: 'Oh, God. Tell me those aren't the names of your fists.'
Ted: 'They're my feet. I'm actually more of a kicker.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 13

Lily: 'How did you do it?'
Barney: 'Oh God, you found one of the cameras. I swear that's the only one! Wait, which one did you find?'

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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9

Ted: 'Robin, this show is so dirty, I don't know whether to hug you, or run a shower for you, so you can sit there alone, crying and clenching your knees.'
Robin: 'It's just bad camera work, okay? Wayne, our camera guy - he wasn't that great.'
Marshall: 'I don't know. I think he did a pretty good job, considering he was probably only using one hand.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 10

Ted: 'Barney, I don't know if the oven is deep enough. Plus, it's a display made of cardboard.'
Barney: 'Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas.'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 8

I didn't realize you were small potatoes. And to be clear, I am referring to your testicles.

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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 7

Lily: 'Just give me his name!'
Robin: 'Fine. It's Bill Pepper.'
Lily: 'Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?'

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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 7

Barney: 'Looks like that bee got busy.'
Ted: 'Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed.'
Marshall: 'Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.'

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 6

Ted: 'You name a chubby white kid LeBron and he's the one getting stuffed in the basketball hoop.'
Marshall: 'Then I'm also crossing off Shaquille, Hakeem and Dikembe.'

Basketball
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 6

Hey, want to come to my house and play telephone? I got the string, you got the cans.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 4

Barney: 'I cannot stop staring at that girl's face.'
Ted: 'Face, huh? That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 4

That girl was just crying. She's so sad and defenseless... anyone have a condom?

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 3

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Lovesick, Grief, Missing Someone, New Beginning
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 3

Dinner's a very intimate activity. It requires a level of connection and eye contact, that sex just doesn't. Call me old-fashioned, but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times before I'll even consider having dinner with her.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 2

There's something that I need to ask you and I want you to be honest with me. Why do white people like Carrot Top?

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 2

Barney: 'Whoa, Ted, that thing you're packing is way too big to fit in that box.'
Ted: 'Yeah, that's what your mom said.'
Barney: 'How dare you?'
Ted: 'No, she actually said that.'

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1

14 seconds! And already some dingdong is stepping up, thinking he can get some of this broke off.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1

Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge, pick you up, give a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all downhill from here.

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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1

Marshall: 'During that time, I have been, how do I put this delicately, saving all my love for you.'
Lily: 'I have read eleven books on conception, I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour. But good for you for not playing with yourself!'

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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1

Lily: 'A big package just arrived.'
Marshall: 'Yeah, it did.'
Lily: 'No, no. It's a real package from your dad.'
Marshall: 'Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is.'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1

What you're doing right now. I'm getting a de-rection!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 1

Barney: 'You have no reason to be nervous. And I'm going to tell you why in one word.'
Ted: 'And what's that word?'
Barney: 'Dibs!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5

So you're the therapist. You know it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink and bang your patients, that's normal. But to do it for real? Little creepy bro.

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Quote by Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5

Nobody takes an intro class to get on any other path, but the path to not being hungover anymore. I learned that in my intro to something-ology class.

College
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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5

Ted: 'Trying to get them interested in architecture as a career.'
Barney: 'Why? Are we running out of buildings?'
Robin: 'Are we running out of boring people?'

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 7 Episode 5

Robin, if you asked a hundred people: 'Who's the worst person you could possibly date?' They'd all say 'your therapist', except the ones saying 'Barney'.

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Characters from How I Met Your Mother