The best Quotes by Will Ferrell

Before you marry a person you should make them use a computer with slow internet, to see who they really are.

Papa Elf: "Silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus."
Buddy: "What?! Well, who do they think puts all their toys under the tree?"
Papa Elf: "Well, there's a rumor floating around that the parents do it."

The code of Elves
1. Treat every day like Christmas
2. There's room for everyone on the nice list
3. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear

I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

Emily: "Did you sleep okay last night?"
Buddy: "Great! I got a full 40 minutes!"

Buddy: "I thought the magical reindeer made the sleigh fly."
Papa Elf: "And where do the reindeer get their magic from?"
Buddy: "Christmas spirit. Everybody knows that."

I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.

Leon: "At least you have a daddy. I was just rolled up one day and left out here in the cold."
Buddy: "But the thing is, I've never even left the North Pole."
Leon: "Buddy, I've been around the world many times when I was a young cumulus nimbus cloud. It's a wonderful place, filles with wondrous creatures - except dogs. Oh, by the way, don't eat the yellow snow!"

There are only three jobs available to an Elf. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps. You can bake cookies in a tree. As you can imagine, it's dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season. But the third job - some call it "the show", or "the big dance" - it's the profession that every elf aspires to, and that it to build toys in Santa's workshop.

We elves try to stick to the four main food groups - candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells.

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.

Girlfriend is such a stupid word. I couldn't stand calling her that. So, we had to get married, so I could call her "wife".

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

Computers may out-think us one day, but as long as people got feelings we'll be better than they are.

It was one thing to use computers as a tool, quite another to let them do your thinking for you.

Give me your love and not your like!

The internet has been a boon and a curse for teenagers.

For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.

Stop that! I'm your boss...- uhm: husband!

It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.

What gets scary is when your self-worth is tied up in what strangers think of you.

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

Create your own visual style... let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.

I don't know what acting is, but I enjoy it.

My father always said, "Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf" - so I make sure I read.

I came out of my mum's stomach going, "I want to be an actor!"

We think too much and feel too little.

I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.

If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?

Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person's life.

One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.

I only drink with people I like. When meeting people I don't like, I drink right before.

I'm much more proud of being a father than being an actor.

Hair loss is God's way of telling me I'm human.

I dream of a day where I walk down the street and hear people talk about Morality, Sustainibility and Philoshophy instead of the Kardashians.

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.

It's easy to fool the eye but it's hard to fool the heart.

Vanity is my favourite sin.