Mr. Peterman: "Elaine, can you keep a secret?"
Elaine: "No sir, I can't."
Elaine: "No sir, I can't."
I’m not a lesbian. I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.
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My goal is, of course, for this show to do well, and I would love it if people liked it.
I really do like to work. I will work again. But on my terms.
It is, I think, harder for women. I haven't quite figured it out, and all of my women friends haven't figured it out -how the hell do you do this? How do you work and have families?
It's much more acceptable for men to work and father kids. There's an inherent inequality, because we want to do it all, and I don't know how we can do this all.
There's a pressure regardless of that to do a good show.
George: "She calls me up at my office. She says, 'We have to talk.'"
Jerry: "Ugh. The four worst words in the English language."
George: "That or 'Whose bra is this?'"
Jerry: "That's worse."
Jerry: "Ugh. The four worst words in the English language."
George: "That or 'Whose bra is this?'"
Jerry: "That's worse."
Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.
Why is nice bad? What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?
I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.
Women don't respect salad eaters.
Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.
This woman hates me so much, I’m starting to like her.
George: "Why do they make the condom packets so hard to open?"
Jerry: "Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind."
Jerry: "Probably to give the woman a chance to change her mind."
George: "You're gonna over-dry your laundry."
Jerry: "You can't over-dry."
George: "Why not?"
Jerry: "Same reason you can't over-wet."
Jerry: "You can't over-dry."
George: "Why not?"
Jerry: "Same reason you can't over-wet."
Jerome Seinfeld in Seinfeld - Season 1 Episode 1
George: "You've got to apologize."
Jerry: "Why?"
George: "Because it's the mature and adult thing to do."
Jerry: "How does that affect me?"
Jerry: "Why?"
George: "Because it's the mature and adult thing to do."
Jerry: "How does that affect me?"
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.'
Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12
What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.
Kevin Ball in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12