The best Quotes by Oscar Levant

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I was just so Pittsburgh. Everything was Pittsburgh for me. I wanted to give my city bragging rights, bring my city something and just give the city another reason to smile.

The William Penn Hotel in Pittsburgh... was the place where Champagne Music was born.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.

Working out makes people more comfortable with their naked bodies. So does Tequila.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Bacteria is the only culture some people have.

If you're not careful, Netflix & Chill can turn into Disney+ & Children pretty damn fast.

Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure that they are not the same hours.

What would I put in a museum? Probably a museum. That's an amusing relic of our past.

Wade: "What can I get for $275 and a Yogurtland rewards card?"
Vanessa: "Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the f*ck you want. And a low-fat dessert."

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life.
When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life.

That's the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good f*cking life.

The happiest people don't worry too much about whether life is fair ot not, they just get on with it.

Don't wish me happiness - I don't expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor - I will need them all.

It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking: How did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue. And maybe we can actually never have it, no matter what. How did he know that?

You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.

The best moments in life are the ones that make us smile when we think about them.

Its so hard to forget someone, who gave you so much to remember.

The truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.