The best Quotes by Phillip Gallagher

Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.

I don't go onto Facebook because I don't give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the f*cking McDonald's.

Frank: "Why you gotta be such an asshole?"
Lip: "Apple fell where you dropped it."

Lip: "You really wanna get your ass shot off in some 'stan somewhere?"
Ian: "'Stan?"
Lip: "Yeah, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqistan."

Karen: "Why do we help people we hate?"
Lip: "I believe we're just taking our cue from American foreign policy."

Oh, Warren, once again proving that Koreans are the Asian Jews.

Like, up the ass? Do you get used to that? I mean, the whole point of the digestive system is one-way traffic.

Great things don’t happen in tiny little increments. You know, they happen when someone thinks completely differently.

I just thought squirting was a myth, like unicorns or moderate Republicans.

You did okay, Mickey. You know, you tried. That’s a lot more than most people would do.

I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is f*ck you!

I just need someone to say, "F*ck it. This kid deserves a chance."

Hey, talk out of your ass with that much conviction you end up needing a much bigger toothbrush. That's an anal fact.

You're like a f*cking cockroach, able to live anywhere and feed off anything.

I love you. It means we take care of each other. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

You can’t drink him away. It won’t work.

Love is not supposed to be cute. Love is supposed to be raw and destructive.

Jenna dances for an audience. You dance like there's no one else in the room. You life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing because you're no fake. You're not lost. You don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jennas, I'm sick of them. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again.

If God didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

Sometimes when people love each other very much, they need time apart, so when they come back together, their love is even stronger.

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!

I'm sorry, but no one speaking English as a first language should be doing this job.

Seriosly, I don't mean to be an asshole, it's just... genetic.

I kind of have no choice. I gotta find Frank. Get him sober and ready to appear in court. He's like my sad-ass Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Lanier: "Your body is a temple, Carl, and you only want to put things in it that are natural."
Carl: "Like fists? I saw it in that movie."

Kate: "Fishing? Gonna use your tiny dick as a worm?"
Frank: "I've caught some big whales with this little worm. Yourself included there, Moby."

You get along a lot better with a weapon and a kind word than a kind word alone.

A director will always tell you, when you go in to do a scene, "You go as big as you want, and I'll tell you when to come down." And I found that on "Shameless", you can't follow that rule because they will never tell you to come down. So, I've had to find my own balance with when it makes sense to get this upset or angry.

I love "Shameless" so much. I love everybody that was a part of it, and the experience was incredible. But I'm not sure if shows are meant to go that long.

I don't have Twitter or anything like that.

I understand people having a crush on Carmy. I think I have a bit of a crush on Carmy.

Sheila: "Now, by sifting we separate and aerate those flour particles to make them absorb liquids better."
Deb: "Someone should sift my dad."

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in getting what we want, that we forget to ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place.

I threw my 20th birthday party at Brown, and I didn't even have to say to anyone not to put pictures on Facebook. Not a single picture went up. That was when I knew I’d found a solid group of friends, and I felt like I belonged.

V: "You always pick p*ssies!"
Fiona: "Well, they are what they eat."

Daryl Dixon: "You got some balls for a China man."
Glenn Rhee: "I'm Korean."
Daryl Dixon: "Whatever."

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

There has never been a time without unicorns. We live forever! We are as old as the sky, old as the moon! We can be hunted, trapped; we can even be killed if we leave our forests, but we do not vanish. Am I truly the last?

That's the Gallagher sperm. Ambitious, relentless. Everything we're not once we're born. Like heat-seeking, baby-making missiles. Won't be long before the country's nothing but Mexicans and Gallaghers.

Frank doesn't have friends, only people he hasn't pissed off yet.

Frank: "Four-month-old baby, 14-year-old girl, 11-year-old Lip, 10-year-old Ian, a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a Dodge Astro van. What's the one thing that we needed? One word. One thing."
Jimmy: "Sterilization."