I don't think they believed the last excuse you gave them. What was it, that you 'were stuck in a well'?
King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1
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No wife of mine is gonna do dishes on Valentine's Day. You can do these tomorrow.
Doug Heffernan in King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 16
1Carrie: "What are you doing?"
Doug: "Well, from your tone of voice... I'm guessing, not the right thing."
Doug: "Well, from your tone of voice... I'm guessing, not the right thing."
Doug Heffernan in King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 13
3Spence: "A month is not that long not to have had sex."
Doug: "Yeah, but if you add in the other 31 years, I'd think you'd be a little antsy..."
Doug: "Yeah, but if you add in the other 31 years, I'd think you'd be a little antsy..."
Doug Heffernan in King of Queens - SeasonĀ 1 Episode 12
1You know, it has been 17 days since I've "enjoyed" you. And I assume it's been months since you've enjoyed me.
Doug Heffernan in King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1
2Carrie: "I can't do this to him. I can't stick him in some crappy place where they're gonna just prop him up in a chair and pump him full of Jell-O. I mean, he's my father.
Doug: "Car, I know how you feel. But you gotta be realistic, there's no alternative."
Carrie: "Well, there is one alternative..."
Doug: "Euthanasia?! Do we dare?"
Doug: "Car, I know how you feel. But you gotta be realistic, there's no alternative."
Carrie: "Well, there is one alternative..."
Doug: "Euthanasia?! Do we dare?"
Doug Heffernan in King of Queens - Season 1 Episode 1
2Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12
What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.
Kevin Ball in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12