Quotes and Sayings about Instagram

Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.

Han Lee: "Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?"
Max: "Cause I could not be in the background of another Instagram photo!"

A cow is a cow, no matter how many instagram filters you put on it.

A friendly guide about wether I'll be watching your Instagram stories:
______ ______ ______ (maybe)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (hell no!)

Selfies are electronic masturbation.

Annoyed by social media? Just hang out on Facebook for three minutes, Instagram will feel great again!

Instagram makes people depressed & Twitter makes people angry. Which is better?

Dear Instagram, please stop recommending people to me that "I could know".
I do know 'em, but I don't like them!

Instagram reached 13 million users in just 13 months.

"Come one, let's make a boomerang for Instagram where we wave around our dirndl dresses!"
- Every woman at Oktoberfest

Social media is great, but also a bit scary. What people post is the most filtered, most carefully chosen and cleverly edited moments of their lives.

This is an important milestone for Facebook because it's the first time we've ever acquired a product and company with so many users. We don't plan on doing many more of these, if any at all.

The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.

Give me your love and not your like!

I find Social Media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.

Social Media is now the best way for us to introduce ourselves to the world, right? What we reveal or what we hide about ourselves, tells a story of who we are.

I threw my 20th birthday party at Brown, and I didn't even have to say to anyone not to put pictures on Facebook. Not a single picture went up. That was when I knew I’d found a solid group of friends, and I felt like I belonged.

We need to think about how young people use social networks. When things get out of hand we may have to regulate them or cut them off.

Regarding social media, I really don't understand what appears to be the general population's lack of concern over privacy issues in publicizing their entire lives on the Internet for others to see to such an extent... but hey it's them, not me, so whatever.

It doesn't matter who has the most friends or likes or followers. If you just have one or two great friends who will support you.

The perfect life online means nothing when you're miserable in real life.

Basically, you get followers by being somebody everybody likes. So it's a popularity contest, but instead of just high school it's now the whole world.

Social media is the devil. Absolute devil. Oh, my God. It's the worst thing ever.

Han Lee: "Hipsters like karaoke!"
Max: "Replace the word 'like' with the word 'Hitler' and you got the three worst things in history."

Everyone is shaving their p*ssy. And hipsters these days have beards. So society has the same amount of hair, just on different c*nts.

Esposito: "So you're going full hipster now."
Ryan: "Have you started jarring artisanal pickles yet?"

Max: "How old are you gonna be?"
Earl: "75"
Max: "Oh, Earl, if you were just three years younger..."

Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!

I wear knit hats when it's cold out. You wear knit hats 'cause of Coldplay.
You have tattoos to piss off your dad. My dad doesn't know he's my dad.
And finally, you think this is the sound that gets you service. I think, this is the sound that dries up my v-gina.

Do you think we can convince them that slapping each other's face is the new high five?

Max: "Hi, ready to order?"
Guest: "Do you have anything that's really special?"
Max: "Not according to my high school guidance counselor."

If you've been sexually harassed or assaulted write "me too" as a reply to this tweet.

An IPO is not something I worry or think about.

You can make something big when young that will carry you through life. Look at all the big startups like Microsoft, Apple, Google, Facebook, Twitter, etc. They were all started by very young people who stumbled on something of unseen value. You'll know it when you hit a home run.

This morning, there are more than one billion people using Facebook actively each month. If you’re reading this: thank you for giving me and my little team the honor of serving you.

Ander: "How much did he drink?"
Lucrecia: "I don't know, Ander, all of it. Only thing he didn't drink is the water in the pool."

Guzmán: "Because she supports me. Unconditionally."
Nadia: "That isn't love, it's devotion, like you would have for a God. People who love you tell you the truth."

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

I'm going to tell my Gen Z friend a joke about Social Security. But he probably won't get it.

I am very down to earth. Just not on this one.

The selfie is the new way to look someone right in the eye and say, "Hello, this is me."

You know, it has been 17 days since I've "enjoyed" you. And I assume it's been months since you've enjoyed me.

Facebook is manipulating the public almost everywhere on Earth. That is why they won't open source their algorithm.

You need to fail in order to find the right solution.

It's called Oktoberfest's Law: Everywhere you can vomit in or onto, people are going to vomit in or onto.

Sadly, people think a guy and a girl can't be friends without something romantic going on.

I think we can all agree Elon isn't serious and it's time to move on. I offered a real date. Dana White offered to make this a legit competition for charity. Elon won't confirm a date, then says he needs surgery, and now asks to do a practice round in my backyard instead. If Elon ever gets serious about a real date and official event, he knows how to reach me. Otherwise, time to move on. I'm going to focus on competing with people who take the sport seriously.

Robbie: "I'm Robbie."
Caroline: "I'm uncomfortable. You're getting me wet."
Robbie: "That's the point."