Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David.

Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Children & Childhood
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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?

Dogs
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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Character, Decisions
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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Marriage
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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Birthday
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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Books, Reading
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