Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional, often deadpan comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Hedberg's comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following, with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them.

Quotes
Quote by Mitch Hedberg

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

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Quote by Mitch Hedberg

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.

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