Quotes from Orange Is the New Black (Page 2)

Quotes from Orange Is the New Black
Quotes 26 to 44 of 4412
Quote by Joe Caputo from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 7

Joe Caputo: 'You ever notice how some dog breeds, they sound kind of dirty? Like, shih tzu, cocker, Jack-something.'
Susan Fischer: 'Poodle.'
Joe Caputo: 'That is good, I didn't think of that one.'

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Quote by Larry Bloom from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 7

Or I look single, 34 and single, which must mean there's something wrong with me. Like, you keep large reptiles in tanks, or I have a very special relationship with my mother.

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Quote by Nicky Nichols from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 6

Piper: 'Not every Hispanic person wants the same thing.'
Lorna: 'Oh, sure they do. They all want to come to America.'
Nicky: 'Jesus, your entire world view is based on 'West Side Story', isn't it?'

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Quote by Nicky Nichols from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 6

She's gotta start working on tightening her pussy muscles, 'cause her fiance's dick is so small, it's like a hot dog in a hallway.

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Quote by Piper Chapman from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 5

Sam Healy: 'It's popular fiction. It's like global warming or female ejaculation.'
Piper: 'No! No. No, it's not. This is real.'
Sam Healy: 'How is it real? Wait, which?'
Piper: 'The chicken. And the... the chicken.'

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Quote by George 'Pornstache' Mendez from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 5

What the hell is the matter with you? You tryin' out for the retard Olympics?

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Quote by Galina 'Red' Reznikov from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 5

Red: 'Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen.'
Piper: 'Why, because all black people love chicken?'
Red: 'Don't be racist. Because they're all on heroin, and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken.'

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Quote by George 'Pornstache' Mendez from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 5

Pornstache: 'You are not an agent of God, okay? God can do so much better than you. You must know that, right?'
Pennsatucky: 'Know what?'
Pornstache: 'Jesus Christ, how the fuck did you survive infancy?'
Pennsatucky: 'My auntie helped my momma...'
Pornstache: 'That's a rhetorical question! Do you not understand what a fucking rhetorical question is?'

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Quote by Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 5

Pennsatucky: 'It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded.'
Pussey: 'Fuck are you? Joan of Arc?'
Pennsatucky: 'No, I'm from Waynesboro, my name is Tiffany...'

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Quote by Lorna Morello from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 5

Lorna Morello: 'I need to start tightening up. You're making me feel like a cave.'
Nicky Nichols: 'Baby, it's a cunt, it stretches!'
Lorna Morello: 'Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're trying to climb inside my womb.'

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Quote by Galina 'Red' Reznikov from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 3

I'm missing half my zucchini. These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food, not dildos.

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Quote by Larry Bloom from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 3

Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then. For the 500th time today.

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Quote by Larry Bloom from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 2

Guard: 'Inmate, step away from the machine.'
Larry: 'He just called you 'inmate'.'
Guard: 'You too, sir.'
Larry: 'Sorry.'

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Quote by Piper Chapman from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 2

Honey, don't you think the little rocks would hurt your nose, if you're trying to snort crack? I think you mean coke.

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Quote by Piper Chapman from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 1

Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.

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Quote by Piper Chapman from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 1

Oh my God, Larry, by the time I get out, there will've been like three new generations of iPhones!

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Quote by Larry Bloom from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 1

Larry: 'Where would you like me to put it then, Piper?'
Piper: 'Up your ass.'
Larry: 'There's no room. Apparently, my head's already up there.'

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Quote by Piper Chapman from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 1

Come on, we gotta rally. Make some memories.

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Quote by Pete Harper from Orange Is the New Black in Season 1 Episode 1

Larry: 'She's guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig roasting box.'
Pete: 'At least you get something. I'm not getting laid for a year too. But what do I get?'
Larry: 'A baby?'
Pete: 'You can't eat it.'

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Quotes 26 to 44 of 4412

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