The best Quotes by Ross Geller

Monica: "Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding."
Ross: "A 'no sex'-pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America."

Love lasts forever, you know? Nothing like it in this lifetime. Money in the bank.

Joey: "Pheebs, wanna help?"
Phoebe: "I wish I could, but I don't want to."

Ross: "I could ask her to live with me. I mean, why not?"
Chandler: "Because you've only known her for six weeks. I've got a carton of milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with."

Joey: "You're smoking again?"
Chandler: "Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm smoking still."

Phoebe: "I was the last to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in."
Joey: "What?"
Phoebe: "Oh, looks like I was second to last."

Alice Knight: "We were just at the drugstore, so we got you a little present."
Frank Buffay: "It's a lollipop and a home pregnancy test."
Monica: "Don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop."

Joey: "It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship."
Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship."

Nice try. You see, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.

Joey: "Some girl ate Monica."
Monica: "Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds!"
Chandler: "So how many cameras are actually on you?"

Phoebe: "It's not mine, I didn't earn it. If i kept it, it would be like stealing."
Rachel: "Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping."

Ross: "My new beeper."
Joey: "Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?"
Monica: "Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help! They're still extinct!"

Joey: "My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral."
Chandler: "Joey... Switzerland?"

Rachel: "I will see you and I'll raise you. Do you wanna waste another buck?"
Ross: "No, not this time. What did you have?"
Rachel: "I'm not telling."
Ross: "Come on, show them."
Rachel: "Get your hands out of there!"
Chandler: "I've had dates like this."

Phoebe: "Now we need the s-men of a righteous man."
Rachel: "If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place."

Monica: "This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex."
Chandler: "Sounds like a date to me."

Rules are good. Rules help control the fun.

Moo Point. It's like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter.

Joey: "I'm having new headshows taken tomorrow,right? And the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?"
Phoebe: "Well, it depends."
Joey: "On?"
Phoebe: "On how far along he is in the sex change process."

Chandler: "Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?"
Monica: "Do you really want to pull at that thread?"

It takes much more courage to be in love than it does for war.

You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shade when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes, you close your window. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me.

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.

Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone.

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

Ross: "She's got to go back to London. But, you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together and then that's it."
Joey: "That's what all my relationships are like."
Chandler: "Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in two weeks that's it."

Phoebe: "For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience."
Chandler: "I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in the area, God only meant to be treated nicely."

Ross: "It's just that I don't think breast milk is for adults."
Chandler: "Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike."

Chandler: "This piece of furniture was fine until your breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio."
Joey: "You knew about that?"
Chandler: "The impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination."

Chandler's Mom: "Anything you want from Lisbon?"
Chandler: "Just knowing you're there is enough."

Joey: "I had the same dream."
Phoebe: "Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl."
Joey: "Oh, I had the opposite dream."

Joey: "Monica, relax. Go get a beer."
Monica: "I don't want a beer."
Joey: "Who said it was for you?"

Ross: "Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world."
Joey: "Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it."

Ross: "Rach, did you proofread these?"
Rachel: "Why?"
Ross: "Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your 'compuper' skills."
Rachel: "Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?"
Joey: "No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few."

Joey: "You broke the code."
Ross: "What code?"
Joey: "You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-Iooking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!"

Chandler: "Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break?"
Ross: "What's the difference?"
Monica: "Well, a spring vacation you're doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys."

Joey: "Can you close that window, Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here."
Phoebe: "Wait, really? 'Cause mine get me out of tickets."

I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called 'Excuse Me'.