Julie: 'It has minimal side effects, only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage.'
Dr. Cox: 'I'm getting two out of three from the conversation.'
Dr. Kelso: 'Next time, if you're not here in 30 minutes, I expect a free dead body or some garlic knots.'
Turk: 'Dr Kelso, that's extremely insensitive.'
Dr. Kelso: 'I don't think so. Miss Parker, you care to weigh in? Nope, she's fine with it. She knows a thing or two. Except, of course, that a yellow light means to slow down.'
If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.0
Elliot: 'I'm not hiding, I was just looking for my... you know, the... I was looking for my dignity.'
J.D.: 'Did you find it?'
Elliot: 'No. I must've left it at college.'
It's about the day I realised, that admitting we're not heroic, is when we're the most heroic of all.Heros0
Did Santa finally bring you that Y-chromosome you always wanted?0
Elliot: 'Are you sexually active?'
J.D.: 'It's active.'
Elliot: 'I'll write 'rare dry spell' in the margin.'
Maybe it's not about being the best. Maybe it's about finding little things, that get you through the day. Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed - if only for a moment.Small Things0
Should I talk slower or get a nurse who speaks fluent Moron?0
Carla, I have a six-month old child, I'm gonna be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park, where everybody is like, 'Hmm, is he the dad, is he the grandad, is he the grandad's grandad and oh my God, why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year old little boy is in the mud crying? Is--is he taunting the little boy? No! He can't even see the little boy, and, now look: he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan and driving away while the little boy cries and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD.'0
There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it's a professional choice or whether it's a personal choice. In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes... well, sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.Decisions0
Well, that, and a little medical boondoggle I have to go to in Cleveland. And by medical boondoggle I mean golf-weekend. And by Cleveland I mean Hawaii. Anyway, I have to go catch my bus to the airport. And by bus I mean helicopter.0
The truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.Memory0
Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity, or you can suck it up. It's your call.0
Couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.Relationships0
Because even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends'... if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.Friendship, Lovesick0
Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.0
I'm not really proud of this, but I can pick your puff'n'stuff out of a lineup.0
Lemme see if I can make this real clear for you: If this hospital were a human body, you'd be the appendix, because at one time you served some function, but it was so long ago nobody's quite sure what that was anymore.0
Dr. Cox: 'I hate you. You suck.'
Elliot: 'I know, but I've been trying harder.'
Dr. Cox: 'Barbie? Talking to the computer, but nice self esteem.'
Saying someone is the best surgeon, is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of 'The Hills'.0
Newsflash, you can't drink and then come to work. You're not airline pilots.0
Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?0
This is the reason why your headache didn't go away. That's actually pronounced 'an-al-ge-sic', not 'anal-gesic'. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.0