The best Quotes by Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw"

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

George: "As soon as I graduate High-School, I'm gonna be a professional male-model."
Meemaw: "That is hilarious."
George: "What? I'm good looking."
Meemaw: "No, that you think you'll graduate High-School."

What if Einstein's parents had held him back? We wouldn't even have the... - I was gonna say "atomic bomb", but there's probably a better example.

I drank when I was pregnant with you, you turned out fine. There's everybody saying 'don't drink, don't smoke'. I swear - Texas is turning into California.

Meemaw: "What's on a person's face is not always what's in their heart."
Sheldon: "That changes everything, how do you know who to trust?"
Meemaw: "You don't. That's what makes life interesting."

I actually enjoyed being alone, solitude allowed me to think about important things.

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Connie: "Does he even know you like him?"
Missy: "I don't know. I've ignored him, been mean to him. What else can I do?"

Whoa, and the '70s are back. All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms and it's Studio 54.

Butterflies are just worms that can chase you.

Sweat is the urine of the skin.

The average American consumes 55 pounds of beef per year. And then there's Texas, where we can knock that off in a couple of months. Maybe faster if we're talking about smoked brisket.

Dr. Eberland: "I'll write you a prescription for Zantac. Does he smoke?"
Mary Cooper: "Of course not, he's nine."
Dr. Eberland: "I started at his age. But only when I drank."

Missy Cooper: "I don't want to die, I've only kissed one boy so far."
Mary Cooper: "What?!"
Missy Cooper: "Relax, it was a long time ago."

George: "Everybody knows you pun on fourth down."
Sheldon: "Why does everybody knowing something make it right?"
George: "Because... that's what makes this country great."
Sheldon: "Many years later, my brother would use the same argument in front of a judge. He was still convicted for urinating in a phone booth."

I don't need a calculator, dad. I am one.

In Texas, the holy trinity is God, Football and barbecue. Not necessarily in that order.

Science fact: Sisters are the worst.

Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study the apes. I just had to go to dinner.

Dante: "[seeing a Confederate flag] What? Are you serious?"
Lila: "Newsflash, we're in deep Texas."

The stars at night, are big and bright,
deep in the heart of Texas,
The prairie sky is wide and high,
deep in the heart of Texas.

Amy: "Lino's reinventing Thanksgiving."
Zora: "Oh, good. 'Cause if there's anything Texans love, it's different sh-t."

Since you went away
I bet you missed your exit
And drove right on through the Lone Star state
There's a seat for you at the rodeo
And I've got every slow dance saved
Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway

In Texas, it's football. In Georgia, football. There's an appreciation from the average person about football more than anywhere else. And we have that for basketball in New York. And we'll always have that in New York.

Lila: "So, Richter, why are you such a nihilist?"
Richter: "A what?"
Lila: "I mean, anyone who blasts diesel into the atmosphere like that, truly gives zero f-s about like anything."
Richter: "I'm a Texan. I don't like people telling me what to do. Especially smug, self-righteous, rich, city folk."

In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

Here in Oklahoma, there's not a whole lot to do. So, a lot of your focus and attention is on basketball, which is a blessing in disguise. And this is where I wanted to end up, so I'm very happy I'm here.

Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.

I do not know how the Third World War will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the Fourth - rocks!

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lies are comforting. Truth is painful.

The bigger the lie, the more people believe in it.

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Leonard: "I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle..."
Sheldon: "Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word 'plenty' has been redefined to mean 'two.'"