Serienzitate und Sprüche aus South Park

Serienzitate und Sprüche aus South Park
Quotes 1 to 50 of 6012
Quote by Mr. Garrison from South Park

Mr Garrison: 'What is 5x2? Come on, children. Don't be shy, just give it your best shot. Yes, Clyde?'
Clyde: '12?'
Mr Garrison: 'Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 21 Episode 4

Wilson Aubry: 'You victimize innocent people and poop in little girls' mouths.'
Eric Cartman: 'That's not true, Wilson. We're Coon and Friends, not Harvey Weinstein.'

2017
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Quote by Randy Marsh from South Park in Season 15 Episode 11

A blowjob isn't with your mouth, it's with your heart. Now get on your knees and put that heart to work.

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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 15 Episode 1

Gerald Broflovski: 'Well that does it, I'm going to the police!'
Stan: 'For what?'
Gerald Broflovski: 'To find out where Apple is keeping my son.'
Stan: 'Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple!'

Apple
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 14 Episode 10

When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

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Quote by Randy Marsh from South Park in Season 14 Episode 9

Randy: 'Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?'
Schwarzenegger: 'No, because Utah is between Colorado and California.'
Randy: 'Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?'
Schwarzenegger: 'Nevada.'
Randy: 'Oh really? Okay Mr. 'I'm Awesome at Geography'!'

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Quote from South Park in Season 14 Episode 7

Towelie had a girlfriend he really liked. Then she got pregnant and had a little wash cloth.

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 14 Episode 4

[Playing Chatroulette with Kyle] This is the way the world works, if you want to find some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.

Friendship
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 14 Episode 3

Is that something I'd want to do? Is the Pope Catholic and making the world safe for pedophiles?

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Quote by Butters Stotch from South Park in Season 14 Episode 2

Mr. Stotch: 'Butters, away from the window, you're being grounded.'
Butters: 'Sorry dad. I was just being the voice of a generation.'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 15 Episode 2

Do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle!

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season Season 13 Episode 11

Stan: 'Dude,it actually wasn't a dolphin and a whale who bombed hiroshima, it was the...'
Cartman: 'Dude, they won't rest until whoever is responsible is completely wiped out!'

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Quote by Butters Stotch from South Park in Season 13 Episode 1

Stan: 'Rings that say they not gonna have sex or doing anything naughty anymore.'
Butters: 'A ring that says you'll be together but not have sex... isn't that called the wedding ring?'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 13 Episode 1

Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman.

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 12 Episode 13

Cartman: 'Went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine turned on.'
Stan: 'You didn't die?'
Cartman: 'Freakin' hybrids, man. They just don't do the trick anymore.'

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 11 Episode 12

Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?

Faith, Imagination
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 11 Episode 4

Terrorist: 'America had other enemies before the Muslims, you know? Who is America's oldest enemy?'
Cartman: 'The Russians?'
Terrorist: 'Before that!'
Cartman: 'The Germans?'
Terrorist: 'Before that.'
Cartman: 'The Germans again?'

5
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 9 Episode 11

The only way to fight hate is with even more hate!

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Quote from South Park in Season 7 Episode 14

I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

Life, Breakup & Lovesick, Grief
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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 6 Episode 2

Cartman: 'Have you seen this trick? When someone's sleeping, you can take a glass of warm water, and when you put their hand in it...'
Stan: 'And then what?'
Cartman: '...and then you pee on them!'
Kyle: 'No, dude! You're supposed to put their hand in warm water to make THEM pee!'
Cartman: 'Really? Oh well.'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 6 Episode 1

I can't lose weight, Butters, because I'm not fat, I'm big-boned. You can't slim down bones, stupid!

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Quote by Mayor McDaniels from South Park in Season 2 Episode 2

Officer Barbrady, let's pretend for one second that we had a competent law enforcement officer in this town. What would he do?

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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 1 Episode 7

Cartman: 'I'm not the one walking around all day like Pippi Longstocking.'
Stan: 'Well, at least my mom isn't on the cover of Crack Whore magazine.'

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 1 Episode 1

Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 9 Episode 8

Stan: 'I know what did cause the flood.'
Kyle: 'George Bush?'
Stan: 'No!'
Kyle: 'Terrorists?'
Stan: 'No!'
Kyle: 'Communists?'
Stan: 'Nein!'
Kyle: 'Chinese radicals'
Stan: 'Nein!'
Kyle: 'Cartman?'
Stan: 'Sort of...'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 7 Episode 11

Stan: 'Dude, I wonder where Kyle is.'
Cartman: 'Maybe he caught a disease and died, that'd be so awesome.'
Stan: 'Dude that's not funny, you shouldn't joke about that.'
Cartman: 'Who's joking?'

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Quote by Mr. Garrison from South Park in Season 7 Episode 5

Mr. Garrison: 'Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties.'
Eric Cartman: 'A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods?'
Mr. Garrison: 'Right, but who was the fattest oldest skank on her period?'

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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 7 Episode 2

Teacher: 'You think art is not important?'
Stan: 'Well, art is just kinda for gaywads.'
Butters: 'I love our class!'
Stan: 'See?!'

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Quote by Chef from South Park in Season 6 Episode 2

Chefkoch: 'Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him.'
Stan: 'Marry him?'
Chefkoch: 'It definitely worked for every woman i ever met.'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 5 Episode 2

What's the matter, you got some sand in your vagina?

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 5 Episode 1

But, years from now, when you're old and have children of your own, what would you give to come back and fight this one day? This one day, where you could have made a difference. Where you could've told Scott Tenorman: 'You may take our pride, but you will never take my god damn $16.12!'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 4 Episode 9

Stan: 'Dude, we don't have any musical talent.'
Cartman: 'That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!'

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 3 Episode 13

Mr. Garrison: 'Oh, for Pete's sake! What've you bastards done now?!'
Cartman: 'Hey! That was Kyle that went number two in urinal!'
Kyle: 'No, it wasn't, fatass... I saw you do it!'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 3 Episode 17

We're trying to find the Brown Noise, it's this one pitch, this certain frequency, that makes people loose bowel control.

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Quote by Chef from South Park in Season 2 Episode 14

Chefkoch: 'Why 'oh oh'?'
Gerald Brovlovski: 'Chef, that's Johnny Cochran. He's the one that got O.J. off.'
Chefkoch: 'Oh oh...'

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Quote by Officer Barbrady from South Park in Season 2 Episode 11

Officer Barbrady: 'Well just as soon as I handle all the other crime in South Park, I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium, so I can prove that nothing's wrong.'
Stan: 'What other crime in South Park?'
Officer Barbrady: 'Oh yeah... let's go.'

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 2 Episode 10

Stuart McCormick: 'We don't have a Nintendo, we got a calico-vision plugged into the black and white TV.'
Kyle: 'Oh my god, this is like a third world country.'

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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 2 Episode 9

Kyle: 'It's Mr. Hanky! I think he's in some kind of trouble.'
Stan: 'Dude, how do you tell if a piece of poo is in trouble?'

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Quote by Uncle Jimbo from South Park in Season 2 Episode 8

Everything's legal in Mexico, it's the American way.

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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 2 Episode 8

A summer without fireworks sucks ass.

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 2 Episode 8

If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack, and blow your balls all over your pants!

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park in Season 2 Episode 7

Kyle: 'Scary monsters don't eat big, fat, smelly bitches.'
Mrs. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Kyle: 'I said, Larry King won't grant me 3 wishes!'

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Quote by Chef from South Park in Season 2 Episode 4

This is all I'm going to say about drugs: Stay away from them! There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college.

Drugs, College
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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season Season 1 Episode 13

Stan: 'We're not getting on, you ugly bitch!'
Ms. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Stan: 'I said, we're not getting on, you ugly bitch!'
Ms. Crabtree: 'Oh, all right then.'
Kyle: 'Woah, dude.''
Stan: 'I always wondered if that would work.'

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Quote by Kyle Broflovski from South Park

Stan: 'Oh, my God, they killed Kenny.'
Kyle: 'You bastards!'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 1 Episode 11

Stan: 'What the hell are you doing?'
Cartman: 'My mom said lesbians lick carpet.'

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Quote by Eric Cartman from South Park in Season 1 Episode 9

Cartman: 'I sneaked around my mom's closet and saw what I'm getting: the Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.'
Stan: 'What's that?'
Cartman: 'I don't know, but it sounds sweet.'

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Quote by Chef from South Park in Season 1 Episode 10

Woah, that is one fudged-up little cracker!

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Quote by Mr. Garrison from South Park in Season 1 Episode 10

Mr. Garrison: 'Where are you from?'
Damien: 'The Seventh Layer of Hell.'
Mr. Garrison: 'Oh, my mother was from Alabama.'

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Quote by Stan Marsh from South Park in Season 1 Episode 7

Stan: 'We always run late, you skank.'
Ms. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Stan: 'I can't wait to own a fishing tank.'

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Quotes 1 to 50 of 6012

Characters from South Park