Stan: 'Dude, I wonder where Kyle is.'
Cartman: 'Maybe he caught a disease and died, that'd be so awesome.'
Stan: 'Dude that's not funny, you shouldn't joke about that.'
Cartman: 'Who's joking?'
Mr. Garrison: 'Then maybe you can tell me who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early sixties.'
Eric Cartman: 'A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods?'
Mr. Garrison: 'Right, but who was the fattest oldest skank on her period?'
Teacher: 'You think art is not important?'
Stan: 'Well, art is just kinda for gaywads.'
Butters: 'I love our class!'
Chefkoch: 'Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him.'
Stan: 'Marry him?'
Chefkoch: 'It definitely worked for every woman i ever met.'
What's the matter, you got some sand in your vagina?0
But, years from now, when you're old and have children of your own, what would you give to come back and fight this one day? This one day, where you could have made a difference. Where you could've told Scott Tenorman: 'You may take our pride, but you will never take my god damn $16.12!'0
Stan: 'Dude, we don't have any musical talent.'
Cartman: 'That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!'
Mr. Garrison: 'Oh, for Pete's sake! What've you bastards done now?!'
Cartman: 'Hey! That was Kyle that went number two in urinal!'
Kyle: 'No, it wasn't, fatass... I saw you do it!'
We're trying to find the Brown Noise, it's this one pitch, this certain frequency, that makes people loose bowel control.0
Chefkoch: 'Why 'oh oh'?'
Gerald Brovlovski: 'Chef, that's Johnny Cochran. He's the one that got O.J. off.'
Chefkoch: 'Oh oh...'
Officer Barbrady: 'Well just as soon as I handle all the other crime in South Park, I'm gonna go with you to the planetarium, so I can prove that nothing's wrong.'
Stan: 'What other crime in South Park?'
Officer Barbrady: 'Oh yeah... let's go.'
Stuart McCormick: 'We don't have a Nintendo, we got a calico-vision plugged into the black and white TV.'
Kyle: 'Oh my god, this is like a third world country.'
Kyle: 'It's Mr. Hanky! I think he's in some kind of trouble.'
Stan: 'Dude, how do you tell if a piece of poo is in trouble?'
Everything's legal in Mexico, it's the American way.0
If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nut sack, and blow your balls all over your pants!0
Kyle: 'Scary monsters don't eat big, fat, smelly bitches.'
Mrs. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Kyle: 'I said, Larry King won't grant me 3 wishes!'
This is all I'm going to say about drugs: Stay away from them! There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college.Drugs, College0
Stan: 'We're not getting on, you ugly bitch!'
Ms. Crabtree: 'What did you say?!'
Stan: 'I said, we're not getting on, you ugly bitch!'
Ms. Crabtree: 'Oh, all right then.'
Kyle: 'Woah, dude.''
Stan: 'I always wondered if that would work.'
Stan: 'Oh, my God, they killed Kenny.'
Kyle: 'You bastards!'
Stan: 'What the hell are you doing?'
Cartman: 'My mom said lesbians lick carpet.'
Cartman: 'I sneaked around my mom's closet and saw what I'm getting: the Ultra Vibe Pleasure 2000.'
Stan: 'What's that?'
Cartman: 'I don't know, but it sounds sweet.'
Mr. Garrison: 'Where are you from?'
Damien: 'The Seventh Layer of Hell.'
Mr. Garrison: 'Oh, my mother was from Alabama.'