Quotes from The Big Bang Theory

Quotes from The Big Bang Theory
Quotes 1 to 50 of 6512
Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 10

Marty: 'Thanks for going to outer space, so no matter what I do, my mum will be disappointed in me.'
Howard: 'Well, I married a little catholic girl, so we're even.'

0
0
Quote by Mary Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 10 Episode 1

Sheldon: 'Why do people cry at weddings?'
Mary: 'They're practicing for what's coming later.'

0
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 3 Episode 22

This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation. As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.

2
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 4 Episode 8

Leonard: 'I can't believe you've never seen 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'.'
Penny: 'And I can't believe you've never read 'Eat, Pray, Love'.'
Leonard: 'When she comes out with 'Eat, Pray, Run away from a giant boulder', I'll read it.'

2
0
Quote by Bernadette Rostenkowski from The Big Bang Theory

Gosh, Amy, I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because, like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

3
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 5 Episode 7

'See you in hell Sheldon'? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma!

9
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 5 Episode 4

Rajesh: 'I don't know if I want to play anymore.'
Sheldon: 'Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good Lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble.'

6
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 4 Episode 2

Sheldon: 'At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?'
Leonard: 'At the hands of your roommate?'
Sheldon: 'An accident.'
Leonard: 'That's how I'm going to make it look.'

13
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 4 Episode 1

Sheldon: 'I'm quite aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary, and based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.'
Penny: 'Oh God!'
Sheldon: 'Yes, exactly.'

10
0
Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 17

Raj: 'Hey, look, I found an iPod!'
Howard: 'Smashed beyond repair - what are you going to do with it?'
Raj: 'What else? Sell it on ebay as 'slightly used'.'

2
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 17

Leonard: 'I don't think I can go out with her tonight.'
Sheldon: 'Then don't.'
Leonard: 'Other people would say, 'Why not?''
Sheldon: 'Other people might be interested.'

6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 17

Penny: 'Leonard isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.'
Sheldon: 'Leonard isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.'

4
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 17

Penny: 'Yes, I will go out with you.'
Leonard: 'Really?'
Penny: 'Yeah. Why not? I mean, what do I have to lose?'
Leonard: 'Yeah. That's the spirit!'

2
0
Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 5 Episode 1

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

5
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 20

Penny: 'What a cute, little store... everybody's staring at me?'
Leonard: 'Don't worry, they're more scared of you, than you are of them.'

7
0
Quote by Penny from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 19

This physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week and orders an ice cream sundae for himself, and then offers one to the empty stool sitting next to him. This goes on for a while until the owner finally asks him what he's doing. The man says, 'Well, I'm a physicist, and quantum mechanics teaches us, that it is possible for the matter above this stool to spontaneously turn into a beautiful woman who might accept my offer and fall in love with me.' The owner then says, 'Lots of single, beautiful women come in here ever day. Buy an ice cream for one of them, and they might fall in love with you.' And the physicist says, 'Yeah, but what are the odds of that happening?!'

3
0
Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 16

I love the smell of paintballs in the morning.

3
0
Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 14

Leonard: 'You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up.'
Howard: 'It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew.'

6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 14

My expenses account for 46.9% of my after-tax income. The rest is divvied up between a small savings account, this deceptive container of peanut brittle and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure who shall remain nameless for his own protection... or HER own protection.

4
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 5

Leonard: 'Penny's taking you to the DMV, I'm going to bed.'
Sheldon: 'Why Penny?'
Leonard: 'Because rock breaks scissors.'

6
0
Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 17

Howard: 'You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.'
Sheldon: 'Why?'
Howard: 'Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.'

3
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 15

You tell people I'm a rocket scientist? My God! Why don't you just tell them that I'm a toll-taker at the Golden Gate Bridge?

3
0
Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 15

Is it 'cause I'm Jewish? 'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

4
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 13

Howard: 'Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.'
Sheldon: 'By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.'

6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 11

Sheldon: 'Well, once, when I was 15, spending the summer at the Heidelberg Institute in Germany.'
Penny: 'Studying abroad?'
Sheldon: 'No. Visiting professor. Anyway, the local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used to. And the result was an internal Blitzkrieg, with my lower intestine playing the part of Czechoslovakia.'

6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 11

Leonard: 'Sheldon, relax! She doesn't have any symptoms, I'm sure she's not contagious.'
Sheldon: 'Oh, please! If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear, it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, homo habilis would have figured out how to kill the guy with the runny nose.'

6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 10

Penny: 'You'll never guess what just happened.'
Sheldon: 'I don't guess. As a scientist, I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. Although it occurs to me, you may have been employing a rhetorical device - rendering my response moot.'

6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 7

She is cheating. No one can be that attractive and this skilled at a video game.

Nerds, Video games
6
0
Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 7

Leonard: 'The only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half.'
Rajesh: 'Sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from.'

5
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 6

Sheldon: 'What are we doing here?'
Leonard: 'We're socializing, meeting new people.'
Sheldon: 'Telepathically?'

4
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 4

Sheldon: 'I'm not quite sure. It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me.'
Leonard: 'That narrows it down.'

3
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Oh, gravity, thou art a heartless bitch!

11
0
Quote by Penny from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 2

Penny: 'You know, it's a Cheesecake Factory... people order cheesecake and I bring it to them.'
Leonard: 'So you kind of act as like a carbohydrate delivery system?'
Penny: 'Yeah, call it whatever you want, I get minimum wage.'

3
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

We dont need Wolowitz! Engineering is merely the slower younger brother of physics. Watch and learn! Do either of you know how to open the toolbox?

8
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 5 Episode 9

Penny: 'Oh, it's not a date, Leonard. It's just a man and a woman hanging out, not having sex at the end of the night.'
Leonard: 'Sounds like most of my dates.'

5
0
Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 4 Episode 19

Howard: 'Good news, gentlemen - I found our hacker.'
Leonard: 'Really?'
Howard: 'Yeah, no one can hide from me. Not Waldo, not Carmen San Diego, not even topless Natalie Portman.'

2
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 4 Episode 8

I'm tired of running to the gas station to use the bathroom. The guy makes me buy a Gatorade every time - it's a vicious circle.

4
0
Quote by Penny from The Big Bang Theory in Season 4 Episode 1

Sheldon: 'You realize that the technology
that went into this arm, will one day make unskilled food servers, such as yourself, obsolete?'
Penny: 'Really? They're gonna make a robot, that spits on your hamburger?'

6
0
Quote by Howard Wolowitz from The Big Bang Theory in Season 3 Episode 1

Howard: 'You were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator.'
Rajesh: 'I thought we were going to be gentle with him.'
Howard: 'That's why I added the 'tator'!'

4
0
Quote by Penny from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 16

Howard: 'Looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight.'
Penny: 'His right hand is calling him?'

4
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 8

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch 'The Clone Wars' TV series, until I've seen 'The Clone Wars' movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

3
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season Season 2 Episode 2

Leonard: 'I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...'
Sheldon: 'Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word 'plenty' has been redefined to mean 'two.''

15
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 1

Leonard: 'Sheldon, how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?'
Sheldon: 'They were clever, Leonard. They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing.'

2
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory

Leonard: 'The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.'
Sheldon: '...with certain obvious exceptions. Suicide for example!'

12
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 1

Penny: 'Four years I lived with him! Four years, I mean that's like as long as high school!'
Sheldon: 'It took you four years to get through high school?!'

High School
6
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 2

Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

5
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 2 Episode 2

Everybody's got a date. Even you, Mario, going after Princess Peach. And what am I doing? I'm just enabling you.

6
0
Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory

Oh my god, I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda!

Nerds
1
0
Quote by Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 12

Howard: 'We need a hot fifteen-year-old asian girl with a thing for smart guys.'
Penny: 'What?'
Leonard: 'Howard, that's racist! Any fifteen-year-old girl will do the trick.'

Rajesh: 'It's possible she may have missunderstood us.'

1
0
Quote by Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 12

Engineering - where the semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello Oompa-Loompas of science!

0
0
Quotes 1 to 50 of 6512

Characters from The Big Bang Theory