The best Series Quotes (Page 37)

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The best Series Quotes
Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 12

I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over thirty's. I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 6

Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.

Breakup & Lovesick, Comforting
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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 8

Oh my god, you have a monocle! Is this real? Is this really happening? Good luck killing James Bond!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 15

Marshall: 'You're really telling me, that when you watch 'The Karate Kid', you don't root for Daniel-san?'
Barney: 'Nope.'
Ted: 'Who do you root for in 'Die Hard'?'
Barney: 'Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. At the end, he died hard. He's the title character.'
Lily: 'Okay, 'The Breakfast Club'?'
Barney: 'The teacher running detention. He's the only guy in the whole movie wearing a suit.'
Robin: 'I got one. 'Terminator'.'
Barney: 'What's the name of the movie, Robin? Who among us didn't shed a tear when his little red eye went out at the end, and he didn't get to kill these people?'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother

Never buy a girl flowers, 'cause giving her a living thing reminds her of babies.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 7

God. It's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 14

Barney: 'Check it out, I made a little game.'
Lottery Girl: 'And tonight's lotto numbers are: 19...'
Barney: '...age you moved to New York after a photographer 'discovered' you at a food court and said he would get you into Vogue Magazine.'
Lotto Girl: '53...'
Barney: '...number of semi-nude pictures he took of you before you realized he had no connection to Vogue Magazine.'
Lotto Girl: '22...'
Barney: '...age you claim you are.'
Lotto Girl: '31...'
Barney: '...age you actually are.'
Lotto Girl: '45...'
Barney: '...number of minutes it would take me to get you into a cab, out of your dress and into my Jacuzzi.'
Lotto Girl: 'And tonight's Super Big Ball is...'
Barney: '...what happens after we get out of the Jacuzzi. What Up?!'

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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 15

Barney, check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 15

Ted: 'Where does this girl live?'
Robin: 'We're talking about a woman who's gotten Barney to commit. I'm guessing Narnia.'

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Quote by Perry Cox from Scrubs in Season 4 Episode 11

I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 6 Episode 9

He has got to go. You need to be like:
You are the weakest link goodbye!
Punchy, the tribe has spoken.
Please pack up your knives and go.
Your work of art, didn't work for me.
You're times up.
I have to ask you to leave the mansion.
You must leave the chateau.
Your tour ends here.
You've been chopped!
You've been evicted from the Big Brother house.
Your desert just didn't measure up.
Sashay away!
Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen!
You did not get a rose.
You have been eliminated from the race.
You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model.
You're fired.
Auf Wiedersehen.

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Quote by Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother

Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.

Failures, Fate / Destiny
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Quote by Leonard Hofstadter from The Big Bang Theory in Season 1 Episode 1

Leoanrd: 'Is this the high-IQ spermbank?'
Woman: 'If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here!'

Nerds
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 4 Episode 23

Give it a week, you'll get her back. And her front.
Oh! Did you feel that? I think we just had a 'what up?'-quake!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 19

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.

Lies
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 5 Episode 11

Barney: 'I only smoke in certain situations. Postcoital, when I'm with Germans, sometimes those two overlap, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, precoital, on a sailboat, the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year and pregnancy scares.'
Ted: 'Why are you smoking right now?'
Barney: 'I'm always precoital, Ted.'

Smoking
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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 16

Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.

Sex
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Quote by Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother

Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?

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Quote by Berta from Two and a half Men in Season 2 Episode 8

I guess if they can put a man on the moon, they can put a woman on your brother.

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Quote by Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 20

Nerds who aren't good at math?
Life is going to be rough boys!

Mathematics, Nerds
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Quote by Perry Cox from Scrubs in Season 4 Episode 2

Either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.

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Quote by Perry Cox from Scrubs in Season 2 Episode 2

Caus' you see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquetball. Play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

Sex
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Quote by Bob Kelso from Scrubs in Season 3 Episode 10

What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 19

Ted: 'She was 15?!'
Barney: 'No. A 15. Like in blackjack.'
Ted: 'As in.. not sure whether you'd hit it?'
Barney: 'Exactly!'

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 1 Episode 14

Ted, the only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years and 11 months old.

Sex
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 1

Female acrobats from Montreal, super flexible...
We´re gonna get Cirque du so-laid!

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 3 Episode 5

Think of me as Yoda - only, instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro. I'm Broda.

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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother

It's going to be legen...
wait for it - and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is
...da(i)ry!

Legendary
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Quote by Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother in Season 2 Episode 1

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

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Quote by Charlie Harper from Two and a half Men in Season 3 Episode 9

Why are you dating a woman who most likely lost her virginity during World War II? And knowing her, probably not to one of our guys.

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Quote by Steve Urkel from Family Matters

Carl: 'Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?'
Steve Urkel: 'You yelled at me and you called me a butthead.'
Carl: 'Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?'
Steve Urkel: 'Yes. It was my nickname in preschool.'

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