Quotes by unknown authors (Page 2)

There's snow place like home.

Fact: You're never too old to build a snowman or to start a snowball fight.

How to build a snowman:
1. Open door
2. Throw children through door
3. Close door

What do you call an old snowman?
Puddle.

I'm always cooking very slow so the eggs have enough time to process their separation.

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?
Nothing, it's on the house!

What do you call Santa's most impolite reindeer?
Rude-olph.

Does everyone in the North Pole think Santa's reindeer are a great team?
Yep, that's what they've herd.

Josh Giddey messing with girls the same age as his 3PT percentage.

It's in his best interests to finish his season now and start preparing for the NBA Draft.

Never give up on your dreams!
Keep sleeping.

Kids and grown-ups love it so - the happy world of Haribo.

Whenever you're sad, imagine sitting in a glass of candy with a gummy bear holding your hand.

What I learned from Christmas this year: If I lived in a gingerbread house, it'd take an hour and twelve minutes for me to become homeless.

75% of the Earth's surface is ocean. So divers live on a much bigger planet.

Lord, give me coffee to change the things I can and my middle finger to accept the things I can't.

Lord, give me coffee to change the things I can and virtual reality to accept the things I can't.

Life feels better in a wetsuit.

Captain Chevreuse, once again I implore you, we must tighten up the Special Security and Surveillance Patrol's entry requirements. Right now, we count among our members petty crooks who have burgled all over the Court of Fontaine, street fighters whose only concern is getting rich, and even a bandit whose band of cronies almost succeeded in robbing a bank! If you hadn't personally caught him red-handed — scoping the place out under the guise of being an investor — they might very well have pulled it off... For pity's sake, we're supposed to be the Maison Gardiennage! Even if just to preserve our image, please consider doing something!

"I'll make eggs for breakfast. How do you want yours?"
"In a cheesecake!"

My girlfriend has been crying for hours now after the loss of a child.
She takes The Sims very seriously.

You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there?
That's God playing The Sims, he just cancelled your action.

Video games are so exciting, they let you try your craziest fantasies.
For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

When my kids play The Sims, I sometimes disconnect the computer's power just after they've finished making their family.
It's character building.

You know what the best part of the sims is?
If you get bored, you can just start over with a new family.
Just like my dad.

It's over! The Rangers have won the World Series! Rangers fans, you're not dreaming, the Rangers are the World Series Champions! After 52 years in Texas, 63 years of the franchise - the wait is over and the celebration has begun!

So long to heartbreak. Hello World Series for the Texas Rangers, champions in 2023.

One Riot, One Ranger

With the 18th pick in the 2022 NFL Draft the Tennessee Titans select Treylon Burks, Wide Receiver, Arkansas.

It feels like I'm under-summered again.

The first original drama based on the game "Pokémon"! Madoka Akagi, the "Main Character" moved to Tokyo to pursue her dreams. What she found... "Pokemon Red". Playing Pokemon for the first time in 20 years. Was there something important to life packed in there?

Hwei’s mastery of his craft gives him the tools needed to bring his artistic visions to life. He owes much of his skills to his previous masters, but after time and exploration, he has transcended their skill and created his own unique style. While Hwei comes prepared with what he wants to paint, his extensive palette of possibilities leaves room to learn, experiment, and master.

If you can't find a Lego brick, just turn off the light and walk through the room barefoot - the brick's gonna find you!

Legos are like chocolate... there's always room for some more.

I was almost done building my time machine... but now I'm missing a Lego double red.

I'd barefootedly run over Lego bricks to get to you.

Lego is a very effective educational toy. Step on it once - bam, you become a balet dancer.

Rule-of-thumb at Oktoberfest: Have at least as many beers as you have fingers.

A bad day at the beach is still better than a good day at work.

Why can't you compare Washington State and Florida?
Because it'd be like comparing apples and oranges.

What does daylight-saving time mean in Portland?
An extra hour of rain.

Did you know only one US president has been born in Missouri?
It's true, man.

Biden has won so many times in Michigan now.
He's legally required to change his name to Ohio State.

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?
One Mississippi.

What's the loneliest place in all of Louisiana?
Bayou Self

What does a man from Indiana say in bed?
Hoosier Daddy?!

Why are there so many Latina's in Illinois?
Because that's where the Chica go.

What is a pirate's favorite state?
Arrrrkansas!

Did you know Arkansas is in the Bible?
Noah looked out the Ark and saw.

What did Tennessee?
Same thing Arkansas.