Quotes and Sayings about Marijuana & Weed

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Marihuana? That's not a drug, it's a plant.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

Jenko: "Got a pound of coke."
Schmidt: "We are trying to show them a good time, not ruin their f*cking lives."
Jenko: "Pound of marijuana?"
Schmidt: "Best party ever!"

'Cause dope is addictive just like they call it marijuana, cause like marriage, you wanna, marry Jane
It's like you and Spiderman feel the very same

Stuff all my problems in that bong and I’m puffing strong
I been locked in my way of thinking now my cuffs are gone

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?

Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent... leave that to me.

It's not the drugs that make a drug addict, it's the need to escape reality.

I take quaaludes ten to fifteen times a day for my "back pain", adderall tostay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again and morphine well... 'cause its awesome.

I don't like the drugs, doc. The drugs like me.

Hold me, I can't breathe
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna OD
Cup full of lean, pure codeine
Ten lines deep, now I can't see

That's all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

Lesson number two: Don't get high on your own supply.

Drugs may kill you, but they'll never break your heart.

The soft fluffy feeling you get from narcotics which allows you to somehow live through the horror and feel like you're floating. But that's only because you haven't hit rock-bottom just yet.

I don't do drugs. I am drugs.

Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column.

The beautiful thing about getting high is that time ceases to exist.

Drugs are kind of cool. I mean, they're cool before they wreck your skin. And your life. And your family. That's when they get uncool. It's actually a very narrow window of cool.

It's a reality that drugs destroy. Unfortunately where I grew up, there's no other way to survive.

Christian: "What else is against the rules?"
Nadia: "Drinking, smoking, doing drugs..."
Christian: "...so basically all the fun stuff."

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

I don't need drugs to make my life tragic.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.

So smoking is the perfect way to commit suicide without actually dying. I smoke because it's bad, it's really simple.

When I was a boy, it never occurred to me that one day I might participate at the birthday of a German Chancellor. But that was before I knew that smoking four packs of cigarettes and consuming ten Coca-Colas a day guaranteed longevity.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.

Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

President Trump is a failed leader. He will go down in history as the worst president ever.

Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.

If I ever have a daughter I am going to name her Taken. That way, when a boy asks her name she'll say "Hi, I'm Taken."

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Captain Dickson: "New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and f*ck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed."
Jenko: "Oh, I love Disneyland!"
Captain Dickson: "You two sons of b*tches are going to college!"

I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.

You can't snort a line of coke off a woman's ass and not wonder about her hopes and dreams, it's not gentlemanly.

Danbury wasn't a prison, it was a crime school. I went in with a Bachelor of marijuana, came out with a Doctorate of cocaine.

I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.

Sometimes you just gotta let shit go and say 'to hell with it' and move on.

The female Pinocchio, money-hungry hopeless ho
You f*ckin' with my focus, so
Go back to that chump that played the role befo'
Love is like a cancer when you don't let go